404 - Balls Not Found
by Ryokucha-sensei
Summary: [AU] The Kurokos swapped sexes every 24 hours after their 21st birthday. Should they not fall in love by their 22nd birthday, they would forevermore remain their opposite sex. Follow the topsy-turvy adventures of Kuroko Tetsuya and his (uhh her?) best friend, Aomine Daiki, as they try to reverse the confusion [No beta][No plot][No class][No common sense]
1. 1

**WARNINGS!: This is an extremely silly, frivolously-written fic done as a means of procrastination and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sensitive to gender issues, this fic is not for you. OOC. No beta. No plot. No class. No common sense. **

**[T] rating: Language and perversion.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

**Chapter 1: 404 - Balls Not Found Part 1**

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 01/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

"Ughhh" Aomine Daiki groaned, eyes squinting in the brightness of the sunrise.

He was hung-over.

Last night had been his childhood friend and flatmate's 21st birthday celebration, and the two pals had drunk to their hearts content. Well, he had drunk enough for two, seeing as Kuroko Tetsuya had passed out after his third beer.

With his eyes still firmly shut, Aomine felt around for his cellphone. In his blind search, he bumped into Kuroko a few times.

_'Still out?'_

"Huh?" Suddenly, Aomine's hand grasped something big, round, and incredibly soft. He gave it a few good squeezes. The squishy object filled his large hands perfectly.

"Ahh…"

_'Fuck? Did something just moan?'_

Aomine sobered up immediately, cracking open his eyes to find his hand on the right breast of a beautiful blue-haired girl.

"Dafuq?! Who the hell are you?"

Now don't misunderstand, no man loved boobies like how Aomine Daiki loved boobies. On any other occasion, he would've been all over that shit. But, a stalker girl unceremoniously sleeping on their living room floor?

No, thank you.

_'Where the hell's Tetsu?'_

"Mmm… Aomine-kun, please don't curse so early in the morning." The unidentified girl said as she stirred. Her messy long hair sprawled all over.

_'Aomine-kun? Who the hell does this bitch think she is?'_ Aomine took a second look at her.

The shirt she had on was too large on her petite body, exposing a creamy set of shoulders and an impossibly sexy collarbone.

_'That's my shirt!'_ The very same one Aomine had lent to Kuroko the night before. _'Wait, the voice is slightly higher, but that hair, those eyes, that inflection!'_

"Te... Tet… Tetsu?!" Aomine gaped. Was such a thing even possible?

"Good morning, Aomine-kun." She greeted.

"To hell with the morning, take off your shorts now!" Aomine got off of his stunned ass and proceeded to pull down the girl's shorts.

"Aomine-kun, please stop," she pushed his hands away. "My back is sore. I'm not in the mood for such stupidity."

_'Ughh… I'm never drinking again. I feel so weak, has Aomine-kun always been so strong?'_

Aomine grasped both her wrists in one hand, held her down, and pulled down her boxer shorts in one go.

"Gone… It's not there!" Aomine stuttered. "Tetsu! Everything's gone!"

"What are you on about?" Kuroko wondered if his childhood friend was still drunk.

Then, Kuroko looked down.

"Crap."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 20 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine and Kuroko were currently skyping the latter's parents.

"Wait, okaa-san, you mean to tell me that everyone in the Kuroko bloodline goes through a phase of sex swapping when they hit 21?" Aomine asked. The two childhood friends and lifelong neighbors were casual with each other's parents, almost always referring to them as okaa-san and otou-san.

"That's right honey," Mrs Kuroko smiled sweetly. "Tetsuya's dad and uncle went through the same exact thing, as did their mother and the generations of Kurokos before her."

"You were a woman otou-san?" Kuroko asked.

"Yes, for a while at least. Lucky for me, I met your mother," Mr Kuroko said. "Listen carefully Tetsuya, you'll swap sexes every 24 hours. However, if you don't fall in love before your 22nd birthday, you'll forever remain a woman."

"That only gives me a year." Kuroko said.

"Tetsu, can you sound at least a little bit surprised?" Aomine tiredly pleaded. "I'm freaked out of my mind here."

"I'm panicking. Can you not tell?" Kuroko said with the calmest of faces.

"Sigh… I give up," Aomine dragged his hand down his face in exasperation. "You've always been an oddball anyway." He turned towards the computer screen, "So, all we need to do is make sure Tetsu falls in love right? Then he'll… she'll? Then Tetsu'll return to normal?"

"Well, yes." Kuroko's parents were completely unfazed.

"Otou-san, okaa-san, why didn't you inform me before?" Kuroko asked.

"Ohh, you know… Think of it as a surprise birthday gift. Ah look at the time, better head off to work now. Goodbye, son… I mean daughter." Kuroko's parents chuckled nervously as they logged off. It was obvious that the married couple had forgotten to disclose that major minor-detail to their son.

A few moments passed as silence enveloped their tiny 2 bedroom flat.

_'Love…'_ Kuroko began to ponder.

"Aomine-kun, may I fall in love with you?" Kuroko asked nonchalantly.

"Like hell you can idiot!" Aomine got up and threw the gravure magazine he had in his hand to the tatami. "Fuck my life. I have to spend the next year living with a sex-swapping idiot."

"I could move in with Kise-kun if it is too much of an inconvenience." Kuroko stood up too.

"Seriously, are you that clueless?" Aomine raised an eyebrow at the girl's naiveté. "He can barely keep his hands off you as it is. Do you have any idea what he'll do if he finds out about… your special circumstances?" Aomine blushed, finding it difficult to remain calm with her blank stare looking up innocently at him.

"It's just Kise-kun."

"It's fucking Kise!," Aomine emphasized. "He'll eat you up."

"Kise-kun?"

"Yes," Aomine gripped his best friend's shoulders, bent down, and stared directly into her eyes in all seriousness.

"'Kise-kun' will lick you all over, nibble, bite, and then eat you up like a big feast."

"Are you sure you're not projecting? And, Aomine-kun, would you please calm down? It's weird seeing you this distressed," Kuroko asked, but Aomine paid her no mind.

"Tetsu. Do not let anyone else, especially Kise, ESPECIALLY KISE, know about this. Understand?" Aomine asked.

_'It's not that big of a deal though,'_ thought Kuroko. Although they had only known Kise since entering high school, the blonde model was still a good friend of theirs, even if he was a bit too liberal with his hands.

"I understand, but Aomine-kun, can you handle living with me until I fall in love?" Kuroko asked.

_'Was Aomine-kun always this big? Or have I actually shrunk?'_ Kuroko wondered. There was already a 30-centimetre gap between them. Now, in female form, the gap only seemed to widen.

Aomine removed his hands from her and gulped. In his roughness, her shirt had fallen even more, exposing the tops of her ample bosom.

_'Be strong Aomine.'_ Aomine thought to himself. As much as he tried to remind himself that she was actually a he, Aomine couldn't help but fluster. Wearing his oversized shirt and sporting tousled bed hair, Kuroko looked like a she had just woken up from a night of wild sex.

"I'll deal. But, you stink of alcohol, get in the bath. We need to get you clothes, girl clothes." Aomine repeated for clarity as he pushed her into the bathroom.

"Aren't you coming in too?" Aomine and Kuroko often bathed together. They had since they were children.

_'Be more self-aware idiot,'_ Aomine thought.

"I'll join you when your balls grow back." Aomine closed the bathroom door with a slam and walked into his bedroom before collapsing into his futon.

Aomine let everything which had happened that morning digest.

There was a gorgeously beautiful woman taking a bath in the room right next to his. Before he could stop himself, a vision of Kuroko in all of her naked glory crept into his imagination.

_'Fuck!'_

Determined to halt the stirrings of arousal, Aomine turned around and began to do push-ups, driven to exert himself to distraction.

_'It's just Tetsu for chrissake.'_ Aomine chastised himself.

He was acting completely out of character. He'd taken women to love-hotels an inestimable number of times. He was used to women. He was used to the female form. Despite that, he had never experience an urge so aggressive before.

"Aomine-kun, the bath's ready for you," Kuroko said as she entered Aomine's room. "It's unusual for you to close your door." Her tanned friend was usually too lazy to do anything he deemed unnecessary.

"Ahh… Tetsu! Knock damn it!" Aomine shouted, startled by Kuroko's sudden appearance in his room.

Aomine almost bit his tongue as he turned around. Kuroko was naked except for a small towel wrapped around her tiny waist. Her long hair was loosely pinned high on her head, baring every delicious dip and curve to his view. Her skin was still pink from the bath.

All of Aomine's effort went to waste. He grabbed his pillow and plonked it right where it hid his growing manhood.

"Damn it Tetsu. Don't come into a guy's room fucking topless!"

"But I'm a guy."

"You're not one right now."

"Aomine-kun, I am a guy." Kuroko repeated.

"Not with that rack you're not."

She sighed indifferently. "It's fine isn't it?" Kuroko asked. "Aomine-kun likes big breasts." She made a mock pose of what those idols frequently did on the cover of Aomine's gravure magazines.

"Tch, you're doing that on purpose aren't you?." Aomine forced himself to look away. "Now get out."

"But, Aomine-kun. There's a problem."

"You don't say." Aomine grumbled.

"I can't go out without a bra. My back's aching as it is." Kuroko crossed her arms beneath her breasts, hoping to give them some support.

"You're definitely doing that on purpose," Aomine was frustrated beyond belief at his best friend. "Fine, fine, I just need to get you some underwear right? I get it, now leave already."

"Thank you, Aomine-kun." Kuroko gave a slight bow before exiting his room, closing the door behind her.

Aomine brought the pillow up to his face. He was blushing harder that he cared to admit.

_'My god, she's an F-cup.'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 01/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine Daiki sipped his energy drink as he sat down in the living room. He had just finished shopping. In the end, the salesperson, an aged lady, had cornered him into buying multiple sets of lingerie, a few pair of hosieries, a couple of dresses, and even a turquoise choker.

_'A necklace given from a boy to a girl symbolises his possession of her.'_ That was what the lady said.

_'What a load of bull,"_ Aomine thought. _"Still, it might ward off unwanted suitors. God knows how many of those creeps will latch onto to her when they see her."_

"Maybe I should buy her more jewellery," Aomine wondered out loud.

"Aomine-kun?"

"Ahh! What the fuck? How long have you been here?" How could he have not noticed her walk into the living room? Especially in her state of dress, or rather, undress. She wore a pair of track-pants, baggy and low on her hips. A lacy, floral-motif, light blue bra hung loosely from her shoulders.

"For a while," she answered. "I can't hook it properly." She parted her long hair and showed her back to Aomine. Sure enough, the bra was unhooked. The sight of Kuroko arching her back like that was almost too much for Aomine.

"What are you showing it to me for?" Aomine grumbled.

"Well, Aomine-kun is more experienced with these things than I am." Kuroko said.

"I am experienced in taking them off, not putting them on," said Aomine.

"Ah, right. I better call Momoi-san." Kuroko got up to leave, but Aomine grabbed her hand.

"Are you stupid? Have you forgotten that you need to fall in love within the next year? That Momoi girl's the closest thing you've got to a female friend. She's the perfect candidate for you to fall in love with. Don't ruin your chances by doing something so stupid," said Aomine.

"Then, Aomine-kun," Kuroko sat down with her back to Aomine again. "If you'd please."

Aomine sighed. _'Who knew there'd come a day where I'd be putting underwear on a girl instead of ripping it off?'_

"Done. Now go put something over it." It took a few attempts, but Aomine finally had the finicky hook in place. Even from the back, he could tell that it fitted her perfectly.

"Aomine-kun, do girls experience a funny feeling when guys touch their backs?" Kuroko asked. Her face was flushed.

"What?! Don't ask me such a question. How should I know?" Aomine was taken by surprise. Some of the girls he had bedded had erogenous zones on their backs, but he had not nearly touched Kuroko enough to elicit such a reaction.

_'Is she that sensitive?'_ Aomine thought, wondering what would happen if he stroked Kuroko's back in earnest. It was a temptation he stomped to death as quickly as it crept into the back of his mind.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 06/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kuroko Tetsuya was exiting Teikou University's Department of Education when a yellow whirlwind of a human being promptly clung onto him.

"Kurokocchi!" Wailed Kise Ryouta. "I saw Aominecchi during the weekend."

"Kise-kun, you're too close." Kuroko deadpanned, vexed as he tried in vain to walk with Kise clinging to him.

"Aominecchi was buying bras and panties you know? Bras and panties! Lingerie! That's female underwear!" Kise said.

"I know what bras and panties are, Kise-kun," Kuroko stated.

"Has Aominecchi's booby fetish finally evolved into something more sinister? Or maybe he can't get it up with just visual aids anymore? Crap! Maybe he's a closet freak who likes cross-dressing." Kise was talking a mile a minute "Aominecchi's so damn cool! The notion of him fapping to female underwear, or worse, wearing them… Ahhh! I can't take it Kurokocchiiii! I won't accept it!"

"Kise-kun, you're too loud. It's getting annoying." Kuroko's calm voice held undertones of irritation.

"So cruel!" Kise moped.

Taking pity on Kise, Kuroko revealed, "Aomine-kun bought them for someone else." Inwardly, he thought, '_It's not a lie."_

"Really? Who? A girlfriend?" Kise brightened up immediately, happy to know that the varsity basketball star he idolised wasn't a freak after all. "I knew it. Aominecchi's so cool! He's a man of refined taste, so of course he would buy lingerie for his girlfriend. But, how come I don't know his girlfriend?"

"I'm- She's not his girlfriend," Kuroko corrected.

"Whoa! He gives lingerie to his non-steady lovers? That's so mature-"

Suddenly, Kise was removed from Kuroko's person. Kuroko turned around to see Aomine holding a nervous-looking Kise by the back of his collar.

"Heheheh, hi Aominecchi…" Kise greeted timidly.

"Stop draping yourself over Tetsu every time you see him. It's disgusting," said Aomine as he released Kise. A vein popped out on his forehead. Unlike Kuroko, his irritation with their blonde friend was blatant. "What are you doing here anyways?" Kise wasn't a student at Teikou University. He was already a successful idol in middle school, and chose to focus on his television career after high school.

"Well, I wanted to ask Kurokocchi about Aominecchi's shopping spree-" Kise was cut off by Aomine.

"We're done talking about that," said Aomine.

"And I wanted to invite Kurokocchi to a new café that just opened in the city. Their vanilla milkshakes have been featured in Teen Weekly," Kise continued, hoping that Kuroko would accept his invitation.

"No, thank you. I am happy with Maji Burger's vanilla milkshakes." This must have been the thirteenth time this year that Kuroko had rejected Kise's invitation, but that never seemed to discourage the blonde man's efforts in getting his date with Kuroko.

"Wait, Tetsu'll go," Aomine said suddenly. "But not with you." He gave Kise a pointed look. "This is a good excuse to ask that pink-haired girl out Tetsu," Aomine said to Kuroko.

_'Aomine-kun is really serious about pairing me up with Momoi-san,'_ Kuroko thought, wondering why he felt slightly upset by his eagerness. Kuroko found his own predicament inconvenient, but did Aomine really detested his female form so much that he would go out of his way to plan a date for him and someone else?

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 2 hours laterXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

"This parfait is delicious! Thanks for bringing me to this place Kuroko-kun," Momoi Satsuki smiled as she took another scoop of her sweet dessert.

"Don't mention it, Momoi-san. I'm glad you're enjoying this," replied Kuroko. He took a sip of his vanilla milkshake, still preferring Maji Burger's version of the drink better.

Aomine and Kise were sitting in a corner of the café. Aomine wore a lazy look on his face as he watched the pair. Kise, however, was chewing at his napkin, frustrated that Momoi had taken what was supposed to be his seat.

_'Come on Tetsu, act more interested! You're sitting with the hottest girl in the statistics department for chrissake,' _thought Aomine. He really couldn't take any more of female Kuroko. She ignited a wild, burning passion within him everything she was near, and Kuroko's nonchalant disposition on her current sex didn't help either.

Aomine needed the curse, if one could call it that, lifted.

Fast.

Otherwise, who knows how long his control, and sanity, would last.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 11/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kuroko Tetsuya was sitting at her usual table at Maji Burger, sipping her favourite vanilla milkshake, when a giant muscle factory of a man brusquely plunked himself down on the seat across her. He had a mountain of burgers on his tray.

_'What a healthy appetite,' _Kuroko thought, looking at him as she counted the seconds until he would notice her presence.

3…

2…

1

"Nghkk!" The red-head proceeded to down half of his super-sized soda, thumping his chest so he could swallow his mouth full of burgers. "What the hell?! Who are you? Why are you sitting here?"

"I've been here since the start. Kagami-kun was the one who sat down uninvited," said Kuroko.

"'Kagami-kun?'" Kagami raised an eyebrow at Kuroko, trying to remember if he knew the girl from somewhere. "Have we met?"

"We attended a Japanese seminar together back in our third year of high school," Kuroko explained. "Although, I'm not surprised you don't remember me."

_'I was a guy back then after all,"_ Kuroko thought.

_'I'm surprised I don't remember you,'_ Kagami thought. Sure, he wasn't one to pay too much attention to girls, but even he would've certainly noticed someone as striking as her.

That waterfall of soft, light-blue hair; those big, beautiful eyes; that expanse of clear, flawless skin; that pert little nose; those naturally pouty lips which were made for kissing.

_'And those… assets…' _Kagami gulped. She was dressed in boyish, ill-fitting clothes, but one would've had to be blind to not notice those bouncy breasts. _'Did I really miss someone like her? Then again, she does have an almost invisible presence.'_

"Uh, umm," Kagami finally managed after a while. "What's your name?"

"Just call me Kuroko," answered Kuroko. In truth, she wasn't certain what her name was in this state.

"How's your Japanese now? You were giving the lecturer a hard time back then as I recall," asked Kuroko.

"It's decent, I guess..." Kagami had spent most of his life in the States, so he still struggled with Japanese from time to time.

"Actually, Seirin University requires all undergraduates to pass a 100-level Japanese Literature paper in order to graduate," Kagami said as he bit into his sixth burger. "I'm taking it for the bloody third time this year. It's hard." Kagami complained.

"I could tutor you." Kuroko offered, surprising Kagami.

"You could? Why would you?" Kagami asked.

"I'm doing a Bachelor of Teaching. It will be valuable experience for me, tutoring an idiot that is," Kuroko bluntly explained.

"Why you little…" Kagami impulsively stood up. "If you were a guy, I'd beat your sorry arse for that-" Kagami was stopped by the sudden aura of killing intent he felt behind him.

"Put your hands on Tetsu and I'll dress you as a lettuce and feed you to the snails. It will be a very slow death..." Aomine drawled.

"What?" Kagami was left speechless.

_'What the fuck just came out of my frickkin mouth?!' _Aomine didn't let his embarrassment show.

Kuroko had been waiting for Aomine to finish his last lecture for the day. Yet, when he'd finally arrived at Maji Burger, he saw a guy all up in her personal bubble.

Aomine hadn't been jealous. '_Hell no, why would I get jealous over that?' _But, it still bothered him that a guy he didn't know was so over-familiar with her.

Kuroko was trying to suppress a smile at Aomine's verbal diarrhoea, but it was obvious to her best-friend what she was thinking.

_'Damn it Tetsu, don't laugh.' _Aomine groaned inwardly.

"Anyways, let's go Tetsu," Aomine stared down Kagami, the look in his eyes reminiscent of an animal marking his territory.

"You play?" Kagami asked, motioning to the basketball Aomine had in hand.

"Yeah, so?" Aomine answered, not keen on acknowledging the red-head. "Tch…"

"What's that 'tch' supposed to mean huh?!" Kagami took a step toward Aomine. _'What's with these two? Do they make a habit of messing with people they barely know?'_

"Aomine-kun, please behave." Coming from someone who was absolutely tiny compared to the two boys, the scolding was completely ineffective.

_'Stop acting so fucking cute. If anything, you're making me naughty,'_ Aomine regretfully admitted to himself.

"Kagami-kun, Aomine-kun's the ace of Teikou's basketball team," said Kuroko.

"Huh, is he any good?" Kagami taunted.

"Better than you," Aomine leaned in intimidatingly. _'This punk's really getting on my nerves.'_

"You sure about that?" Kagami countered.

"Any closer and you'll kiss." Kuroko said abruptly, causing the boys to immediately recoil from each other.

"Regardless," Aomine said after recovering. "The only one who can beat me is me."

"Wanna bet on that?" If there's one thing Kagami prided himself on, it was his basketball skills.

"What are the terms?" Aomine would crush him, if only just to let off a little steam.

"1 on 1. 10 games. Winner spends all of Friday with Kuroko." Kagami named his terms. _'She seems important to him. It'll be that much sweeter when I beat him.'_

_'No honorifics?'_ A vein popped on Aomine's forehead. _'And Friday, isn't that Valentine's Day?'_

"Actually, I am a gu-" Kuroko was interrupted by Aomine.

"Like I'll hand over Tetsu to the likes of you." Aomine drawled. "You're on. Thursday, 3 o'clock, Teikou Stadium. I'll be waiting."

"I don't agree with this," said Kuroko, but the boys were too busy glaring at each other to listen to her.

"Let's go, Tetsu." Aomine gave Kagami one last smirk before taking Kuroko's hand and began pulling her towards the exit.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 5 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine and Kuroko were cutting through a quiet park on their way home.

"Aomine-kun," Kuroko panted, her short breaths coming out as little puffs of vapour in the cold February air. "I can't keep up with you."

"Oh." Aomine released her hand. In his ire, he hadn't even noticed that he had been pulling Kuroko along all this while. She could no longer keep up with his long strides.

As soon as she was released, Kuroko ended up slumping, face down into the snow.

"Sheesh…" Aomine squatted in front Kuroko. "You're the most graceless girl ever."

"But I'm a guy." Kuroko spoke with her face buried in the snow.

"You're not one right now."

"Aomine-kun, I am a guy." Kuroko repeated.

"Not with that rack-" Aomine interrupted himself. "We've had this pointless conversation before."

"Still, it doesn't diminish the fact that I am a guy." She still faced the snow.

"Tch…" Aomine was getting tired of talking to the back of her head. He took her by her shoulders and heaved her up.

She was light as a feather.

_'How can you keep calling yourself a guy when you weigh as much as a cat, idiot,' _Aomine thought.

The snow had stuck to her face.

"Pffttt, you look like crap. Wipe that shit off your face." Aomine laughed. "Anyway, fall in love quickly and become a real man again if you're so insistent about being a guy."

"Aomine-kun, may I fall in love with you?" Kuroko asked in her usual composure.

"Hell no," Aomine replied firmly. _'Don't ask me such a question with your face looking like a melted marshmallow.'_ He wiped the snow off with his gloved hand. Looking closely, he realised that both versions of Kuroko didn't look that different at all. They were both adorable, in the unconventional sense.

"Thank you Aomine-kun, I think all the snow's gone now," Kuroko said, snapping Aomine out of his reverie.

_'The fuck? How long did I just stand here with my hand on her face? What in the world just happened?'_ The tanned athlete had completely forgotten the passage of time.

"Ahhhh… right, sorry," Aomine said, turning away to hide his blush as he berated himself.

_'Stop blushing, you look fucking prepubescent.'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 12/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

When Kuroko walked out of the bath today, he found Aomine Daiki, who had just finished his morning run, coming through their front door. For some reason, Aomine wouldn't acknowledge Kuroko, who was only wearing a pair of shorts, properly.

"Aomine-kun, are you avoiding me?" Kuroko asked. Things have been a bit awkward since yesterday. _'As I thought, Aomine-kun hates my current condition. I'm trying, and Momoi-san is a nice girl, so I'm not sure why I'm still swapping sexes._'

"I'm not," Aomine drawled, but still refused to look at Kuroko, choosing to concentrate on untying his shoelaces instead.

"I'm a guy today see?" Kuroko pulled down the front of his shorts. "My balls."

"Don't casually pull down your fucking shorts!" Aomine yelled, throwing his left sneaker at him in a fit of rage.

_'He better not do this in front of other people, especially when he's a she.'_ Aomine groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He had always been attracted, at least sexually, to Kuroko's female form. But, ever since that fateful day he woke up practically molesting her, he'd slowly become more aware of Kuroko's male form as well. The latter attraction was nowhere near as intense at the former, but still…

_'Am I turning bi for my best friend?' _But, since Kuroko was a guy one day and a girl the next, it was truly complicated beyond belief.

_'No, that can't be,' _Aomine reasoned._ 'It's because of Tetsu's tits. I am a man hailing from planet boob. I love big tits. Boobies banzai!'_

"Ah," Kuroko smiled; seemingly satisfied that Aomine was properly talking, well yelling technically, at him now. "Aomine-kun's cursing again. That means you're fine no? I'm glad. You've been weird since yesterday at the park."

"I-" Aomine stammered. "Huh, I guess I have." He couldn't deny it. Kuroko would have known. They knew each other too well. _'No point worrying about it. I just need to wait till he falls in love. Then this whole thing will blow over and everything will go back to normal.'_

"Well, I supposed it doesn't matter now." Kuroko said as he walked into his room. He re-emerged moments later fully dressed. "I'll be going on a date with Momoi-san today. Can you handle your own dinner?"

_'Cheer me on, Aomine-kun,' _Kuroko thought to himself.

"Oh…" Aomine paused. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Go get 'em tiger"

Kuroko smiled as he left the apartment, leaving Aomine alone with his mortification. "'Go get 'em tiger'? What the fuck's wrong with me?"

Aomine ran his fingers through his short dark-blue hair in frustration.

"He'll fall in love, this whole thing will blow over, and everything will go back to the way it once was… Right?"

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 12/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kuroko Tetsuya and Momoi Satsuki had gone to an indoor water park for their date.

Momoi had caught the attention of a multitude of males, much to the fury of their girlfriends, the moment she left the changing room.

"My god, look at her!"

"So... so cute!"

"What a babe!"

"Marry me!"

"Kuroko-kun~. What do you think? Does it look good on me?" Momoi wore a pink bathing suit. Given her generous proportions, it left little to the imagination.

"It's cute, Momoi-san." Kuroko replied.

"Kuroko-kun, you're making me blush!" Momoi flushed as she buried her face in his shoulder, causing most of the male population to glare daggers at him.

"No way!"

"What the fuck is she doing with that wimp?"

"That can't be her date right? He's barely even visible!"

"D… D.. Die!"

"Momoi-san, it's difficult to breathe…" Kuroko said before simply removing Momoi from his person and headed toward the artificial beach, shocking her.

"Ehh?..." It wasn't the norm for a man to be so unaffected by her charms_. 'Does Kuroko-kun not see me as a woman? But, he thinks I'm cute, doesn't he?'_

"Momoi-san, why didn't you follow me?" Kuroko suddenly appear out of nowhere and asked, shocking Momoi yet again. He held out his hand. "Come on, you wanted to play in the water right?"

"Ahh umm yes…" Momoi hesitated_._

_'Maybe he isn't interested in me after all?'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 13/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

When Kuroko woke up this morning, she felt more tired than usual.

"Ya gonna brend inta za woll if ya get ary paler." Aomine Daiki drawled with his toothbrush still in his mouth.

"Good morning Aomine-kun," Kuroko greeted as she entered the bathroom and reached for her toothbrush on the bathroom sink.

"How was the date?" Aomine asked.

"Not good," was Kuroko's quick reply.

"Why?" Aomine sat on the edge of the bathtub. "You were so late coming home last night. I would've thought everything went great."

"Moimoi-san wasn't happy," said Kuroko after rinsing her mouth.

"Har?" Aomine cocked any eyebrow. "How so?"

"Apparently I offended her when I didn't get jealous that other guys were asking her to hang out with them. That – and I'm not aggressive enough – apparently." Kuroko regurgitated what she was told last night.

"Congratulations," Aomine congratulated her.

"What do you mean?" Kuroko asked.

"She likes you. She's probably just impatient about getting to the next level." Aomine explained. "A girl like her isn't used to being left in waiting."

"Aomine-kun, you understand women so well," said Kuroko.

"Coming from you, that sounds like an insult." Aomine got up and left. Kuroko followed soon after to find him pouring orange juice in their kitchen.

"Does it? Well then, Aomine-sensei." Kuroko make a little mock curtsey. "Please teach me how to be aggressive."

"Harrr?" Aomine scowled. "You don't have to change yourself. Just hold her hand, kiss her, say her hair smells like roses and shit. That'll probably satisfy her for now."

"And later? When she wants to go even further?" Kuroko pressed, making Aomine's scowl deepen even further.

"You're a hundred years too early to be thinking about that, idiot virgin." Aomine flicked her on her forehead.

"Ouch…" It was almost imperceptible, but Kuroko definitely pouted. Aomine had never seen her pout before.

_'Even her personality's becoming more feminine. Crap, that's so damn cute,' _he thought.

"I don't have a hundred years. I have less than one," Kuroko said before walking into her flatmate's bedroom.

"Oi, Tetsu?" Aomine followed the moment he sat his drink on the counter.

"Looking for research material. Aomine-kun has so much porn, I'm sure you won't mind me borrowing a couple?" She got on all fours and started digging through his mountain of shoeboxes._ 'Which box does he keep his collection in?'_

"I very much do mind." Aomine panicked. _'The last thing I want is her studying porn.' _It was the last place anyone should go to get a realistic view on sex. "Oi stop!"

Aomine grabbed Kuroko by her waist, wanting to pull her away from the boxes. However, in his alarm, he had miscalculated his strength and her slightness, sending the both of them tumbling into his futon.

"Aomine-kun, you're heavy…" Kuroko breathed.

Even though Aomine had stopped himself in time, managing to put most of his weight on his arms beside her, his chest still sat atop her ample bust, putting pressure on her ribcage.

_'Shit! They're so fucking soft…' _Aomine cursed, his manhood went from lax to erect in a fraction of a second. _'I need to get off her, but if I do, she'll notice.'_

"Ah… Sorry?" Aomine didn't know what to say.

"Actually…" Kuroko paused in thought before continuing. "That might work. Aomine-kun, could we practice?"

"Practice?" Aomine's face strained from both confusion and arousal.

"Yes, I lack the skills to progress with Momoi-san. But, Aomine-kun, you could teach, or rather, show me how it's done," Kuroko spoke in all seriousness.

"What?!" Even Aomine was surprised at how high and strangled his voice came out.

"It'd be easier for me to learn from a girl's perspective, don't you think?" Kuroko reasoned.

"You want me to show you how to have sex, by having sex with you?!" Aomine gaped. It was incredulous. _'This situation feels like a cheap hentai premise for fucks sake!'_ Aomine was sweating buckets of figurative sweat. The bulge in his pyjama pants was threatening to pop. _'Crap, I might not actually have the strength to refuse her. How am I supposed to refuse her something like this?'_

"No."

The clear-cut rejection was enough to send Aomine's balls shrinking right up to his chin.

"Wha…? But…"

"I meant dating and foreplay, not the act of sex itself," Kuroko explained. "Aomine-kun's too big. You'd probably rip me apart with that thing. Her eyes looked down, indicating her knowledge of his current state.

That sent Aomine flying right off Kuroko. "Don't say such things with a straight face, you fucking idiot!" He left the room to hide his blush_._

_'Damn it all to hell! Was I so desperate that I completely misunderstood her? Of course Tetsu didn't mean sex. She's been a fucking guy up until two weeks ago. I'm a frickkin idiot…'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 9 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

By three in the afternoon, Aomine Daiki was already a flaming ball of pent-up rage and frustration.

"What's the matter with Aomine?" The captain of the basketball team, Nijimura Shūzō, asked another member of their team. "It's rare to see him so worked up."

"Look to your left, on the bleachers. There's your answer."

"Huh?" The non-regulars were huddled around a girl wearing a simple wool-knit dress. "Why is there a girl at our practice? It's distracting the guys." Nijimura asked his second in command.

"It's Aomine's girl. Well, they came together anyways. A stick with breasts isn't she? His type exactly. Apparently he and some dude from Seirin had a bet involving her. He should be arriving soon for a 1 on 1 battle."

"Seirin? That new university has a team?"

"They haven't played in any official games, so it's more of a club at this point. But Aomine didn't say anything about the guy being part of that club."

"Huh… Interesting…"

"Oi freshmen! Take a run around the perimeter!" Aomine suddenly ordered, receiving numerous groans in reply. The non-regulars looked to Nijimura and groaned a second time when he gave his nod of approval.

"Tch…"

"Aomine's in a foul mood, the Seirin kid's doomed." None of the regulars disagreed with their captain.

Minutes later, Kagami walked onto the court.

"Yo, Kuroko," Kagami greeted.

"Hi, Kagami-kun," Kuroko returned the greeting. "Please play as hard as you can," warned Kuroko.

"No problem." Kagami smirked. _'She's rooting for me huh?'_

"I've been waiting." Aomine walked over, threw Kagami the ball harder than necessary, turned around, and walked towards the hoop without another word.

"Che… Arrogant ass…" Kagami muttered, dribbling the ball slowly as he walked towards Aomine.

"You say something?" Aomine was so pissed; he might as well have spat out those words.

After the morning's unfortunate event, he had nearly beaten every single guy on campus who dared look at Kuroko in a suggestive manner. She was starting to lose her low presence with each passing day, and the number of men he had to deter every time she came on campus as a girl was growing at an alarming rate.

"Ah nothing. Just wondering which arm pillow I'm gonna offer Kuroko tomorrow. Does she sleep on the right or the left side of the bed?" Kagami taunted. Inwardly cringing, he told himself, _'Ughh… I need to work on my trash talk.'_

Little did Kagami know what he had done with just that idle threat.

There was a dangerous flash in Aomine's eyes.

"Time to play, punk."


	2. 2

**WARNINGS!: This is an extremely silly, frivolously-written fic done as a means of procrastination and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sensitive to gender issues, this fic is not for you. OOC. No beta. No plot. No class. No common sense. **

**[T] rating: Language and perversion.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

**Chapter 2: 404 - Balls Not Found Part 2**

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 13/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kagami panted; sweat dripping down his arms as he slowly picked himself off the court.

He didn't even last 3 minutes.

Aomine's bored expression taunted Kagami even as he offered him a hand, but the latter simply slapped it away.

"Don't look down on me." Kagami clenched his teeth and got up on his own.

"Tch…" Aomine wondered why he even bothered to help.

"Alright people, show's over." Nijimura clapped his hands as he projected his voice. "Back to practice!" The captain grabbed Aomine by his uniform and dragged him off. "You're no exception." The hint of spite in his voice suggested that he didn't appreciate the interruption to their practice.

"Give me a min-" Kuroko and Kagami were still there.

"I've given you enough." Nijimura put his foot down and continued to pull his junior away.

Kuroko sneaked up on a defeated-looking Kagami and bent her knees right behind him, shocking the red-head from his disappointment.

Aomine made a face when he saw this.

'_What do you see in him, Tetsu?'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 30 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kuroko and Kagami were at the university library.

"You don't have to beat yourself up over losing to Aomine-kun you know. Here," Kuroko said softly as she added another reference book to the sizable pile already in the tall red-head's hands.

"I'm not beating myself up over it," Kagami denied in a mumble as he followed her, skimming shelf after shelf. '_Seriously, what's with this girl? I've just suffered the biggest defeat of my basketball career at the hands of her boyfriend and she's not even the least bit bothered by it.'_

In the corner of his eye, Kagami saw 3 students eye the both of them, clearly displeased that they were talking in the library.

Kagami lent in closer and whispered in Kuroko's ear, "Plus, I've never agreed to you becoming my tutor."

"I don't think you have much of a choice." Kuroko held up 3 fingers. "Third time right?" She smiled; the type that a girl did when she knew she was going to get her way. "Plus you're not a good liar."

"Huh?"

"Anyone who loves basketball would feel frustrated after losing," Kuroko turned her to Kagami and whisper. "But, you gave it your best and kept trying until the end. I respect you for that, and I suspect that somewhere, deep, deep down in Aomine-kun's heart, underneath all those layers of muscle and more muscle, he appreciated your efforts too."

Her breath tickled his neck. Kagami let out a breath he wasn't aware of holding. Yet, Kuroko didn't seem to make much of their close proximity. She was already on her tip toes, trying to reach another book.

'_If only I wasn't a girl right now.' _Kuroko thought before finding her back to Kagami's chest. He removed the book she was reaching for off the shelf, saying, "This one right?" in passing before adding it to the pile.

"Yes." Kuroko said as she tilted her head upwards to meet Kagami who tilted his head downwards.

Their eyes met. It was enough to make Kagami's heart skip a beat and his strength leave his body.

"Yes?" Kuroko asked, wondering why Kagami wouldn't look away.

"Just wondering how that jerk got you for a girlfriend." Kagami said, surprised at his own frankness.

Even more surprising though, was Kuroko's face. He'd originally believed her to be capable of only two reactions, her usual deadpanned expression, and the small smile she sometimes made here and there. Yet, now, she looked like she could almost laugh. Almost.

"Aomine-kun would probably flip a table if he knew you thought that," Kuroko said, startling Kagami.

'_For a second there I thought she'd read my mind. But…' _Kagami's thoughts trailed off. "You're not?" He sounded too happy for his own liking.

"No," Kuroko shook her head. Her neck had started to complain from the strain of looking up at Kagami from the awkward position. "He is my best friend."

"Seems unlikely," Kagami said.

"Does it?" Kuroko wondered how long she could keep looking up at Kagami like that. "He's not the most polite person in the world, hardheaded, and swears like sailor too. But, he's always had my back, and he loves basketball more than anything in the world.

Kagami did a long drawn out sigh. "It's irritating hearing you speak so fondly of that guy."

"Aomine-kun's really not that bad," Kuroko reasoned.

"I know." Kagami said in earnest. "If he were, I'd feel a lot less guilty about what I'm about to do."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 14/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kuroko was preparing breakfast in the kitchen when Aomine woke up that morning. Kuroko had him enter the apartment at 2 a.m., something he did often when he had a lot of his mind.

"Good morning," Kuroko greeted.

"Morning," Aomine greeted back, his voice still hoarse.

Kuroko concentrated on slicing the daikon. He didn't need to turn around to know that Aomine was behind him, leaning against the fridge.

'_His arms are probably crossed too._' Kuroko thought.

"So, how did your little tutee took his defeat?" Aomine finally broke the silence.

"Very well, surprisingly." Kuroko answered. "He even asked me out, surprisingly."

"What?!" Aomine's deep voice cracked. "What did you reply?"

"Thank you, but I am really a guy currently in the process of wooing the hottest girl in the statistics department in hopes of stopping my sex swapping tendencies," Kuroko answered.

"Are you serious?" Aomine crossed the small kitchen until he was just mere inches away from Kuroko, prompting him to bonk him on the head with a ladle.

"As a heart attack. But, Kagami-kun found it so astonishing that I'd make a joke that he proceeded to laugh hard enough to get us kicked out of the library."

"So he still thinks he's got a chance with you?" Aomine asked.

"He did say something about not giving up," Kuroko answered, much to Aomine's displeasure.

"For fucks sake Tetsu, he's a guy." Aomine stated the elephant in the room.

"But, he thinks I'm a girl," Kuroko stated the obvious. "You know everything and still got an erection," Kuroko looked Aomine right in the eye.

Aomine massaged the bridge of his nose in frustration. '_Dammit Daiki calm the fuck down.'_

"Yesterday- That…" Aomine ran his hand through his hair and started pacing in the kicthen.

'_Aomine-kun never paces.' _Kuroko knew this was serious.

"We've known each other all our lives Tetsu, you're my pal. It goes without saying that I like you. But, suddenly you turn into…"

"Into?" Kuroko almost dreaded what Aomine was about to say. Just like he said, they grew up together; there were very few people he cherished like he did Aomine.

"My ideal woman," Aomine looked away, the red of his embarrassment clearly plastered all over his tanned face. "But even beyond all of that," Aomine paused to look at Kuroko in the eyes. "You're just… adorable."

Kuroko's eyes widened. "Adorable…" he repeated. It sounded weird rolling of his tongue. He wasn't sure if it was a compliment to call a guy adorable. _'I'd always thought Aomine-kun preferred the sexy type.'_

Aomine walked toward him, eventually trapping Kuroko between himself and the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, you're adorable; an oddball whose both smart and spacey. I don't know how you manage to pull it off." Aomine cupped Kuroko's face in his hands.

Kuroko's skin was so soft and translucent Aomine was scared that he'd bruise with a mere touch. Still, he didn't flinch, nor did he give any indication that he found his closeness disagreeable.

"You kept asking me if you could fall in love with me." Aomine traced the edge of Kuroko's lower lip. There was desire in his deep blue eyes.

"You made it clear I couldn't," Kuroko reminded him.

"I know. To be honest, this whole sex swapping thing is still confusing the hell outta me. I thought everything would go back to normal once you fall in love with Momoi. I wanted you to become 'Tetsu' again, the guy who'd always loved basketball no matter how hopeless a sport it seemed for him, the guy who I had to save every time he'd pass out after his third lap in the swimming pool, the guy who'd stand up to bullies twice his size even though he knew he'd get beaten up, the guy who had no remorse telling me I'm an ass straight to my face when I did something wrong. But, even as you are now, you're still that guy. Regardless of your indecisive sex chromosomes, you're still that guy. So… the next time you ask me that question, I'd like to ask you the same question in return."

Aomine searched Kuroko's eyes, but as always, he was impossible to read.

"And the fact that Kagami-kun confessed has nothing to do with this?" Kuroko asked.

"Why are you thinking about him at a time like this?" Aomine's brows furrowed and he took his hands off of Kuroko.

"Because you're right Aomine-kun, we've known each other all our lives; I know how much you hate to lose. I can't help but suspect that this sudden revelation's somehow tied to your rivalry with him," said Kuroko.

"I'd be lying if it wasn't. Of course I'd hate that he made a move on you," said Aomine.

"And yet, you didn't have any complaints about Momoi-san," Kuroko pointed out.

"Tell me of a time she made a move on you and we'll see if I have any complaints," Aomine's threat was comically, and deliberately monotone. But, if his treatment of Kise were any indication, he was pretty much sure that he would.

"But, I am a guy." Kuroko's doubts were unrelenting. It was nerve-wracking for Aomine.

"I know, but-" Aomine was interrupted.

"Do you remember our 2nd year in middle-school? Our senpai made you choose between basketball and breasts. You answered breasts before he even finished the question. I am a guy. Tomorrow, I will wake up a girl. My hair will be long, my voice will be high, and my chest will be big enough to invite wandering eyes. But the next day, I will return to how I am now. And when this curse is lifted, I will never be your ideal woman agai-"

This time, Kuroko was interrupted. It was difficult to speak when Aomine's tongue in his mouth after all. Being kissed out of the blue, and so voraciously too, made Kuroko want to detest it simply on the principle on of the matter. Yet, Aomine lived up to his reputation. Even a total novice like Kuroko understood just how good of a kisser his flat mate was. Maybe he simply wasn't used to it, but Aomine's ministrations were blocking all coherent thoughts out of his mind.

Kuroko closed his eyes, and a much-needed sense of relief washed over Aomine. He had definitely been uncertain at first, but the shorter male was finally responding to him. Aomine knew it was underhanded to use such thing against Kuroko, but his doubts ate at the taller male. The curse had unquestionably played a huge part in all of this. Even though he knew Kuroko's 'May I fall in love with you?' questions had been lighthearted quips in the purest sense, it had still initiated a chain reaction that did nothing but accelerate his feelings for him, uhh her, uhh…

"Tetsu…" Aomine breathed out when they finally broke for air. Kuroko, dazed as he was, barely uttered a single syllable before Aomine headed in for yet another lengthy smooch. "To me, you're just Tetsu. To me, you'll always be Tetsu. Balls or breasts, it doesn't matter; I think I was bound to fall for you, sooner or later, either way, either sex."

Kuroko chuckled. "That is the cheesiest thing anyone's ever said to me. You must be a riot with the girls."

"Believe it or not, I don't usually say such cheese-laden lines to girls, or guys for that matter." Aomine pressed his forehead to his. "You've turned me into a desperate, sappy guy who's falling in love; and to his own childhood friend no less. I'm gonna have to build a house, climb a mountain, and grow a mustache just to get a fraction my man-points back."

Kuroko chuckled again.

Aomine decided that he didn't do it often enough.

"I believe you, but, I'm afraid I'll have to tell you the same thing I told Kagami-kun," said Kuroko.

"You don't mean that," Aomine joked but Kuroko pushed him away all the same.

"I do. I'm supposed to be wooing Momoi-san. This isn't fair to her. And don't start. She and I were your idea so you're just going to have to control yourself until I apologise to her. It's Valentines Day today, she and I are going out tonight , but here I am cheating on her with you," said Kuroko.

"The two of you never made anything official. You said it yourself, you're still in the process of wooing her. And wasn't she pissed at you over something?" Asked Aomine.

"You were the one who said it was because she liked me," responded Kuroko.

Aomine sighed, "Would it help if I confess that I only said that to make you feel less shitty about being a shitty date?"

"It would, if you're telling the truth. But, either way, until I set things right - nothing." Kuroko was determined, but Aomine struggled with the notion of restraint.

"Impossible. We live under the same roof, alone, and I'm not allowed to touch you?"

"It's no different from before," Kuroko reasoned.

"It's plenty different from before. I didn't know what it was like to kiss you up until 15 minutes ago!" Aomine tried to justify his demands.

"Then I'll just have to invite Kise-kun over. That should take care of the 'alone' part."

Aomine blanched immediately. "That'll take care of the 'living' part too."

It took a while, but eventually Aomine turned around, and Kuroko knew he had won.

"When everything's cleared up, you'll definitely be mine?" The pleading tone felt weirdly inappropriate when coupled with Aomine's deep, usually confident drawl.

"If I keep my balls tomorrow, then yes, I suppose when everything's cleared up, I'm definitely yours."

"Definitely?"

"Definitely."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 15/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

It was 4 a.m. when Kuroko was woken up by a knock at the door.

"Tetsu, are your balls still there?" Came Aomine's voice from beyond the door.

Kuroko groaned and ducked under the covers.

In the hallway, Aomine had his ear pressed against Kuroko's door.

A few seconds later, Kuroko's groggy reply came.

"No, they're still not found. Now leave me alone before I make sure you lose yours too."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 16/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Even though it was early on a Sunday morning, Kise Ryouta was in the studio for his latest photo-shoot.

"Nice Kise-kun. Just 10 more frames and we'll change sets everyone!" The photo-shoot director shouted.

The bright lights, the clothes, the never-ending flashes, the theatrical poses, the fake smiles … Kise had always been in his element when it came to such things. But today, he couldn't help but feel off rhythm.

"Okay, set change! Someone fix Kise-kun's make-up please!"

Kise sat down and took out his phone as the make-up crew gathered around him.

'_They just look too alike_,' Kise thought as he swiped his phone screen to view another photograph of the girl he'd seen yesterday.

"She looks just like Kurokocchi," Kise mumbled to himself.

"Uwaahhh, what a pretty girl," the girl who was fixing his hair marvelled as she looked over his shoulder. "Girlfriend?" She teased.

"Ahhh no, no way hahahaha… I don't even know her name," Kise laughed. "But, I can't say that I'm not interested in her."

"Heheh, but it's the first time you've been interested in someone right?" Another girl asked, eager for some fresh gossip.

"Yeah, usually you're always going on about your 'KUROKOCCHI!~~'" The other girls giggled at the impersonation, but they were quickly silenced when the director came over.

"Kise-kun, are you ready for the next shoot?" The director asked.

"Yes sir, just let me put this awa-"

"Wait." The director reached for Kise's phone. "Ho… What do we have here?"

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 3 Hours Later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

"Aominecchi! Kurokocchi! Open up! Big problem!" Kise shouted as he banged on the front door of Aomine and Kuroko's flat.

"Shut up already, you're disturbing the neighbours," Aomine yawned as he opened the door.

The moment a gap opened, Kise zipped past a half-awake Aomine and enveloped Kuroko in a big bear hug, rubbing his cheek to Kuroko's soft, light blue hair. "Ahh… Kurokocchi!~~ I love your morning bedhead the most!"

"Kise-kun, you're too close," Kuroko said in a deadpanned expression, but did nothing to deter Kise's attentions.

Aomine, on the other hand, couldn't stop the vein on his forehead from popping. "What's the problem?"

"Oh right." Kise suddenly remembered what he'd been panicking about before. "This!" He showed the two bluenettes the photograph on his phone.

The sight of Kuroko's female form innocently sipping her MB vanilla milkshake raised Aomine's hackles before Kise could even say a word. "What's your deal? Going around taking photographs of unsuspecting girls?" He snatched the phone away and proceeded to delete Kuroko's photos. The sheer number of them amazed and scared him all at the same time.

'_To think Tetsu's so damn vulnerable_,' Aomine frowned. Kuroko had little to no presence as a guy, but as a girl, she couldn't be more noticeable if she grew a fluffy tail and little pink paws.

It didn't sit well with Aomine that strangers could so easily take Kuroko's photos. What irked him even more was the fact that there was so little he could do to stop it. Not unless he tied Kuroko to a metal bar and kept her in their flat, where it was safe… where he could protect her. But, Aomine knew Kuroko would never agree to that. The taller male looked at his flat mate and found himself smiling at his notorious bedhead, '_I wish I could tie myself to you._'

"Nooo! Why would you do that Aominecchi!" Kise cried when he managed to repossess his phone. "I need to find her!" Kise pouted, droplets of tears rimmed his eyes.

"Why Kise-kun?" Kuroko asked. He wasn't particularly happy about having his photographs taken so casually, but that was neither here nor there.

"My photoshoot director sent those photos to his colleague and now he's absolutely adamant about having her in his new commercial. It's for a new perfume from a famous French fashion house. I'm guaranteed the male lead if she becomes the female lead. I have no idea who she is or where to find her, but surely you guys see it too don't you? She looks exactly like you Kurokocchi. I thought you two might be related or something."

"Actu-"

"She looks nothing like Tetsu. Sorry, we can't help you," Aomine said firmly. No way, no way in hell was he ever going to let Kuroko prance around in a commercial, exposing herself to all the leers of men and perverts alike. '_The only man who'll ever have that privilege is me.'_

"You're already very famous Kise-kun. One account wouldn't be that much of a loss," Kuroko tried to console Kise by politely patting his back. Truth be told, he didn't like how Aomine was unusually harsh with Kise today.

"The commercial will be shown worldwide. It's a chance for me to finally go international."

"I see... When's the date of the filming?" Kuroko asked and almost immediately Aomine's strong left arm wrapped itself around his neck and dragged him into his bedroom.

"You, stay there," Aomine pointed to Kise before shutting the door.

"You can't seriously be considering this. Are you?" Aomine asked Kuroko.

"Kise-kun's our friend. He's been our friend for a long time. Have you ever seen him so desperate?"

"He's the living definition of desperation! You just don't see it 'cos you're the one he's desperate for."

Kuroko raised an eyebrow.

"Is there anything I could possibly do to make you drop this whole thing?"

"No."

"Damn…" Aomine sighed. "You'll be a celebrity if you go through with this. There'll be strangers… stalkers following you… taking photos of you… stealing your underwear… digging through our trash for your DNA…"

"Aomine-kun please stop joking."

"Who's joking? I'm serious Tetsu, what if this curse gets exposed? Things will get crazy. Scientists… scholars, they'll probably want to study you, maybe even dissect you."

Kuroko couldn't stop himself from smiling. Aomine had always been so fearless, so self-assured in his person. It was refreshing to see him this anxious about something. It was the first time Kuroko could say the words, "Aomine-kun, you're so cute," in full confidence.

"Eh?" Aomine said, taken aback. "Who's the one joking now?"

"It's just one commercial Aomine-kun. One commercial," Kuroko repeated. "And thanks to you, we don't even know when the filming will be. I might not even be a girl that day."

"Wouldn't that be the answer to all my prayers…" Aomine muttered.

"Kise-kun really wants this account Aomine-kun." Kuroko's eyes were steady and unwavering.

Aomine frowned, '_You've never been able to turn a blind eye to those who need your help.'_

"Okay, but on 5 conditions; 1 – this will be the only time; 2 – the filming has to finish within the 24 hours that you're a girl; 3 – I am going with you; 4 – you start calling me by my name; and 5 – you're going to lift this 'touching' ban you've put me on."

'_So that's why Aomine-kun's been extra grumpy today...'_ It all made sense now.

"I told you, the ban stays until Momoi and I-"

"You've talk to her on Friday night didn't you?"

"Yes and my right cheek's still smarting because of it thank you very much." Evidently, ending a courtship on Valentine's Day was not one of the better decisions Kuroko had made in his 21 years.

"So what's the problem?"

"Closure," Kuroko said, as if that single word contained everything that Aomine was supposed to understand about the female need for emotional resolution.

"She slapped you harder than an Ignite Pass Kai, I'm pretty sure she received whatever closure there is."

"…" Kuroko couldn't argue with that.

"And you're still swapping sexes. I have my work cut out for me trying to get you to fall in love with me. How can I if I'm not allowed to even kiss you?" Aomine encircled Kuroko's waist. "I don't have as much willpower as you think I do Tetsu, not when it comes to you." Aomine cupped Kuroko's bottom, pressing him into his engorged member.

"Alright," Kuroko finally gave in. "But I'm not exactly satisfied with this."

Aomine smirked. "Before tonight's over, you'll be too satisfied to even move a muscle. He traced Kuroko's ear with his tongue, loving the sound of Kuroko's gasp. "That, I promise you." He lightly bit Kuroko's little earlobe. Nipping and tugging until he heard Kuroko's cute little whimper. "And don't you dare put that stupid ban in place ever again." Aomine drew the delicate piece of flesh into his warm mouth and soon Kuroko's quiet moans were joined by the wet noises Aomine made with his tongue.

"Kurokocchi, Aominecchi?!" Kise called from the living room.

Aomine actually growled, "Tell him the girl in the photograph is your cousin-"

"Cousin, really? Are you sure you're not hiding some shoujo manga in your porn stash Aomine-kun?" Kuroko said sarcastically.

Aomine made a face, but continued nonetheless. "Tell him the girl's your cousin, and that she'll do the commercial if his agency promises not to leak any personal information."

"Thank you," Kuroko smiled as he reached for the door. He knew he didn't really need Aomine's permission to do anything, but it still meant something to have his support.

"Oh and wait." Aomine drawled, suddenly pulling Kuroko back into his arms. "Here's your punishment for breaking a condition," Aomine gave a toothy grin before he kissed Kuroko within an inch of his life. His hand reached behind Kuroko's neck, bracing him against the sheer force of his kiss. His tongue slipped past Kuroko's lips, delving aggressively, searching deeply.

"I'll never get enough of you." Aomine gave Kuroko another quick peck on the lips before doing the same to his forehead. "And don't forget; call me Daiki from now on."

"Kurokocchi, Aominecchi!" Kise yelled.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-" In a move he learnt from Aomine himself, Kuroko dragged the taller bluenette to his level and kissed him.

"You have such a potty mouth," Kuroko scolded.

Aomine had a momentary lapse in brain activity, shocked that Kuroko had taken such initiative. '_But knowing Tetsu, it probably was just to keep me from finishing my sentence.'_

"Well, if getting kissed's the consequence, consider me a lifetime member of the cursing club," Aomine drawled, earning an unimpressed look from Kuroko.

"Kurokocchi?" Came Kise's wary voice. The blonde had opened the door just enough for a teary eye to peek through.

"Kise-kun," Kuroko smiled. It was all that was needed to make Kise happy again. "The girl in the photo's my cousin. I'll talk to her."

"Kurokocchi!" Kise beamed as he flung open the door and hugged Kuroko without hesitation.

Aomine was ready to karate-chop the back of Kise's head, but a decisive look from Kuroko stopped him mid-air.

Aomine opened his mouth to criticise, but stop short and sighed, turning his gaze in mild irritation as he brought his hand down to ruffle the chronic cuddler's blonde locks instead.

"Aominecchi…" Kise said in amazement as Kuroko gave the tanned male an expressionless thumbs-up.

"Tch, don't get used to it, idiot…" Aomine grumbled, but Kise was all too happy to care.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 6 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine, Kise, and Kuroko spent the rest of Sunday lazing around, eating takeout, and playing basketball-themed video games. It was well over sunset by the time Kise finally went home.

"Arghh…" Aomine muttered as he nestled Kuroko in his arms. "Kise was all over you today. I swear the guy must've been a Labrador in a previous life or something…"

"Then you must've been a Koala bear," Kuroko responded.

"'Cos I'm lazy huh?"

"Because you could sleep over 21 hours a day if given the chance."

Aomine confined his laughter to a snort. "I'd sure as hell know what I'd do for 21 hours a day if given the chance…"

Aomine bent down and brushed his lips against Kuroko's.

"Pervert."

"Guilty as charged," Aomine drawled, the husky vibrations of his deep voice filling Kuroko with a warm sensation.

Aomine tugged on Kuroko's upper lip, biting just hard enough to convey the sexual energy that was bursting to escape. He ran his tongue over Kuroko's lips, urging the shorter male to part them so he could deliver a bruising, crushing, demanding kiss. Kuroko moaned into Aomine's mouth. Their tongues tangled, sucking, swirling, rolling over each other.

Aomine pushed Kuroko onto the sofa, parting the light-blunette's thighs with his knee. He rucked his shirt up, desperate to expose more of Kuroko's smooth skin. Aomine ghosted his long fingers over Kuroko's stomach, teasing his navel as they travelled up to his little pink nipples. He traced the outside of Kuroko's left areola with his finger, brushing the tip with each completed circle. Kuroko let out a trembling mewl and Aomine's mouth watered. He licked Kuroko's nipples, zeroing in on each tip by flicking his tongue back and forth before finishing up with a gentle bite.

Yet, it wasn't enough.

"I want more," Aomine growled as he placed his lips over each sensitive nub and gently sucked.

"Ahh… no… Daiki…-kun…" Kuroko rasped.

Aomine released Kuroko's nipple from his mouth and chuckled.

"No?" He smirked. "Do you really want me to stop?"

Aomine bit Kuroko's collarbone, causing him to breathe out a definite, "No!"

"How about a safe word then?" Aomine suggested as his fingers casually played with Kuroko's nipples.

"Safe- ahh… word?" Kuroko was having a hard time thinking with Aomine doing what he was doing.

"Yeah, I like it when you say no," Aomine teased. "It's cute."

Aomine cupped Kuroko's erection and the shorter male cried out, "Mr. Bean's undies!"

"What?" Aomine blurted out.

"Mr. Bean's undies…" Kuroko panted. "My… safe word…" His face was flushed.

"As you wish," Aomine grinned, kissing Kuroko full on the mouth before he pulled down the smaller male's pants and pulled out his fully erect member.

Kuroko's hands came down to shield himself, but Aomine pushed them aside. "You're so cute, Tetsu."

Kuroko blushed heavily, too embarrassed to even open his eyes as Aomine took him into his mouth. When Aomine swallowed, Kuroko's eyes watered and his breath hitched. He sunk his shaky hands into Aomine's short, silky hair as every pant, huff, and gulp he let out inched him closer and closer towards release.

Suddenly, he felt himself slipping out of Aomine's mouth.

Kuroko couldn't stop himself from pouting. He was so close.

Aomine gave Kuroko's length a little kiss before he turned him over to admire his ass. "Your little ass is so damn cute, Tetsu. Just like your little cock."

A vein popped on Kuroko's forehead.

"I'm not little. I'm average. Daiki-kun's the outlier," Kuroko spoke as calmly as he could, but the slight tone of indignation betrayed his feelings to Aomine.

"Haha… I guess you are a guy after all Tetsu." Aomine chuckled as he took off his own pants and positioned himself in front of Kuroko's entrance.

"Da… Daiki-kun wait!" In a rare occasion, Kuroko stammered as he felt the pressure from Aomine's shaft against his sensitive opening.

"Tetsu, I'm telling you, relax a bit."

"No, no, no, no, it's impossible. Impossible. Impos-," Kuroko made a strangled noise.

"Don't clench up," Aomine frowned. "Do you even know the meaning of 'relax' huuuuuuhh?"

"You're too bigggaaahhhhhhhh…" Kuroko groaned, feeling himself stretching. "Time out, time out, time out! Mr. Bean's undies!"

"Ehh?" Aomine furrowed his brows, but backed off nonetheless. "Alright, alright."

"That seriously hurts…" Kuroko said, his voice deathly serious. "Daiki-kun, I don't think we're doing this right."

Aomine muttered something under his breath, frustrated beyond belief. He was still rock hard.

"Daiki-kun," Kuroko began. "How about I take you instead?"

"What?!" Aomine was sure he'd never been more surprised in his life, not even when he woke up groping Kuroko's breast the morning after his 21st.

"I think I'd fit."

"In my ass?!"

"In your ass."

"You wanna fuck me in the ass?!" Aomine's mouth as gaping.

"You wanted to do the same to me," Kuroko reasoned.

"Bu, but… That's different?"

"How?"

"You… You're the uke!" Aomine blurted.

"So? Who ordained you the official seme?" Kuroko raised an eyebrow.

"Th- the, Tetsu… The seme is generally older and taller, with a stronger chin, shorter hair, smaller eyes, and a more stereotypically masculine demeanour than the uke. The seme usually pursues the uke, whom often has softer, androgynous, feminine features with bigger eyes and a smaller build, and is often physically weaker than the seme."

Aomine pointed to himself, "Seme…" and then to Kuroko "Uke…"

"Ara ara… You've really done your research on this haven't you Daiki-kun?" Kuroko clearly wasn't complimenting Aomine.

"Tetsu…"

"Bend over and spread your cheeks, Dai-chan…" Kuroko gave Aomine the most eerily bright smile he'd ever made, and Aomine felt a shiver shoot up his back.

_'Crap, maybe he is the seme after all?!'_


	3. 3

**WARNINGS!: This is an extremely silly, frivolously-written fic done as a means of procrastination and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sensitive to gender issues, this fic is not for you. OOC. No beta. No plot. No class. No common sense. **

**[M]-rating: M/M Lime and M/F Lemon****  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 3: 404 – Balls Not Found – Part 3**

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 17/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

It was still dark out when Aomine woke up that Monday morning. He blushed into his futon, feeling sore in places he didn't knew he could.

_'Get a grip you idiot,'_ Aomine chastised himself, feeling stupid for being so embarrassed. _'You're supposed to be the experienced one.'_

Yet, what he did with Kuroko the night before was, in fact, a night of firsts for both of them.

"Good morning princess," came Kuroko's lovely voice. Aomine winced at the nickname, but he was too sleepy to retort.

Turning towards the door to find Kuroko walking towards him fully dressed, Aomine drawled while supressing a yawn, "You've finally figured out how to hook your bra huh?"

"Yes, don't you feel proud of me?" Kuroko smiled. In truth, she'd almost torn the damn contraption apart trying to get it to work.

"Redundant, that's how I feel. What am I supposed to do with my life now that you can dress yourself without my help?"

"Hmm… You were prety good at what you did last night, weren't you _Dai-chan_?" Kuroko smiled, enjoying the blush on Aomine's handsome face.

"Come here you!" Aomine grabbed Kuroko towards his naked self, tumbling about until she ended up straddling his hips.

Aomine grimaced.

Kuroko gestured to herself, "Seme…" and then to Aomine, "Uke…"

"Tch… If only I wasn't so bloody sore." Aomine tightened his grip on Kuroko's thighs as he willed his blush to fade.

"Your ass is still sore?"

"Yeah," Aomine grumbled. "You're really against being the uke huh?"

"I have no strong emotions towards it."

"Liar. The way you…" Aomine trailed off unable to hide his embarrassment.

He was Aomine Daiki for chrissake. Ever since his middle school days, he'd been regarded as a strong, powerful, virile hunk of masculinity. Yet, it wasn't as if he went out of his way to impress his flings. In fact, nurturing the notoriety surrounding his bedroom skills was the last thing he had on his mind when he went out with women. He was simply your healthy, average youth who just so happened to be a passionate lover.

Despite that, the first time Aomine'd truly wished to impress a bedmate, he failed. Even worse, he couldn't believe he was taken from behind by Kuroko. Kuroko Tetsuya of all people!

_'I look like a fool…' _Aomine groaned inwardly.

"You can be quite cute if you try huh, Daiki-kun?" Kuroko's face was deadpanned, but it was obvious that she hadn't finished teasing Aomine.

"Shut up."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about though. We're still new at this." Kuroko patted Aomine's head like she was talking to a child. "I'm sure you'll recover to your old self before long."

"Tonight," Aomine said as he took a strand of her long, baby-blue hair and kissed it.

"What about tonight?"

"I'll take you so hard tonight you won't be able to take a step tomorrow."

"Is that so?"

"Damned right it is."

"Hmm, that's too bad; I'm tutoring Kagami-kun this evening. I won't be back at least until 11," Kuroko informed Aomine, prompting him to sit up. Kuroko began to get up as well, but a determined tug from Aomine's hand made sure that she remained in his lap.

"Why do you have to spend so much time with that idiot?" Aomine sighed. _'Amazing, he's not even here and he's making things difficult for me.'_

"You haven't seen his written Japanese. It's scary," Kuroko noted.

"Har?" Aomine sighed and ran his fingers across his hair. "Guess it can't be helped."

Kuroko smiled. "Look at it this way Daiki-kun. Your ass'll have more time to heal."

"Tch… 'no strong emotions' my ass." Aomine muttered. "It's obvious that you care, idiot."

"Yes, Daiki-kun. I care about your ass. Whatever gave me away?" Kuroko gasped in mock surprise.

"Deadpan snarker."

"Covert pervert."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 8 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine glared at a passer-by for the nth time that day. It was always the case whenever he went anywhere with Kuroko in her female form. It was getting rather annoying for both of them. Kuroko couldn't go anywhere alone anymore; not to university, not to Maji Burger, not to the supermarket, not even to catch the train.

Sighing, Aomine turned to Kuroko who was walking beside him and asked, "Can't you control it? At this point it's like a limitless misdirection overflow."

"I can't," Kuroko replied. _'I've already tried every single misdirection technique I possess.'_

"Then, do you think it's natural?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm wondering if this has anything to do with your family's curse."

"I can't rule out that possibility," Kuroko placed a hand on her delicate chin while she thought out loud. "But, from what I've observed accompanying Momoi-san, this situation seems par for the course really."

"Huh…" Aomine responded nonchalantly. "So in the end society just takes notice of beauty huh?"

"A gross generalization, but that maybe so," Kuroko replied, but suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

"Ahh, I just realised." Kuroko suddenly grabbed Aomine's arm.

"What?"

"Daiki-kun said something philosophical. A blizzard might hit Tokyo soon," Kuroko said with a mild look of terror on her face.

"What the-"

"Aominecchi!~" Came a voice from behind Aomine and Kuroko.

"Shit…" Aomine cursed. That voice was recognizable even if it came out from the back end of a drain pipe.

"Good afternoon, Kise-kun," Kuroko greeted.

"Kise," Aomine nodded.

From the way Kise fought to catch his breath, he'd probably ran towards them the moment he recognized Kuroko, or who he didn't know was Kuroko.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Kise Ryouta," Kise beamed. "Has Kurokocchi told you about me err… erm…"

"Kuroko Tetsu-" Kuroko's automatic reply was cut off by Aomine.

"Jin!" Aomine interrupted, causing both blonde and blunette to look at him in confusion. "Her name's Kuroko Tetsujin."

"Tetsu-jin?" Kise looked at Kuroko for confirmation, finding it hard to believe that any parent would name such a beautiful child after an 18 metre, 50 tonne mecha.

After a brief glance at Aomine, Kuroko spoke in a slightly robotic voice, "Yes, my name is Kuroko Tetsujin. Nice to meet you Kise-kun."

"Err okay hahaha…" Kise laughed nervously. It was so obvious that it was a fake name that he didn't know how to react. "But, you really look like Kurokocchi you know?"

Kise reached out her hand, as if to check that the girl in front of him was real. That she wasn't just a result of his love for Kuroko.

"Oi…" Aomine seized Kise's wrist. "She's a girl. You can't just touch her like you do with Tetsu. It'll be sexual harassment."

_'Like Tetsu…'_ Kise thought, _'The way she's standing there… looking up at me with those big, blank, blue eyes… heck even the way she says Kise-kun is way too familiar. They're almost one and the same.'_

"Whoa, whoa sorry my hand just subconsciously reached out for some reason. Hahaha… Tetsujincchi, could you really be Kurokocchi cross-dressing?"

"Could cross-dressing achieve this level of realism?" Kuroko took Kise's right hand and placed it smack dab on her left breast.

"Tetsu!" Aomine's mouth was agape. _'Okay, sure, I know you're a guy Tetsu but seriously?!'_

"Ha.. ha… …." Kise was blushing madly. One could almost see the little puff of figurative smoke rising from his head as he shook his head furiously. He couldn't help but give the object in his palm a firm squeeze. "It's real…" He squeezed it again against his better judgement.

"Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi…" A myriad of cross-like intersection of veins popped up on Aomine's forehead. To Kise, Aomine looked so angry that a wall of blue fire had ignited around him.

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryIjustcametotellyoutoaboutthepreparationfortheCMthisWednesdaybutI'llmailKurokocchithedetailsinsteadpleasedon'tkillmeAominecchi!~" (Translation: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just came to tell you to about the preparation for the CM this Wednesday but I'll mail Kurokocchi the details instead please don't kill me Aominecchi!~" )

"Ahh… he ran away," Kuroko noted, completely unaware of the significance of the situation she had just caused as she turned to look at Aomine

He was one ripped shirt away from becoming the hulk.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 18/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

"The Spa…" Kuroko read aloud the signboard of the spa he and Aomine stood in front of.

Turns out, the preparation Kise had been talking about was an appointment at the spa for, well, whatever people did at spas.

"They really couldn't come up with a better name than 'The Spa'?" Aomine said.

"You'd have to admit, "The Spa' is pretty catchy," Kuroko replied.

"How is 'The Spa' catchy? Ahh- never mind, don't answer that. Just go in there and do whatever they want to do to you." There was no point dilly dallying.

"Welcome to The Spa! How may I help you today? Ahhh how rare, an ikemen!" An employee who looked about their age said the moment they walked through the glass doors.

"Ikemen?" Aomine raised an eyebrow when the girl with the name 'Aida Riko' pinned to her uniform began to 'evaluate' his body.

"A sporty ikemen too. That's doubly rare," she said before proceeding to voice her thoughts aloud. "What sport do you play hmm… basketball probably… position… you look like a power forward… Mind taking your shirt off for me?"

"Of course I mind!" Aomine shouted. "Tch, I'm not the one you need to get shirtless. It's this guy, this guy…"

Aomine pointed to Kuroko.

"Ahhh! What?! Where did you come from!?" The light-bluenette clearly stood less than a metre away from Riko, but she had completely overlooked him in the brilliance of the dark-bluenette.

"I've been here from the start. Actually I stepped through the doors before Daiki-kun," Kuroko politely informed Riko.

"Wahh… You have zero presence…" Riko scanned the shorter boy and blanched. _'He has muscles, but they're pretty weak… But I wanna rub his head for some reason. He's adorable.'_

"Umm… Kise Ryouta-kun told me come here. He said you'd know what to do."

"Ehh?" Riko's eyes widened in surprise. "You're Kuroko-kun?"

"Yes, nice to meet you, please look after me," Kuroko bowed.

"Ehhhh!?" Riko's yell was loud enough to attract the attention of another employee.

"Riko... What are you going on abo- Eh… Kuroko-kun? What are you doing here?" Momoi asked when she joined the trio in the reception area.

"Momoi-san," Kuroko greeted, actually surprised to see her there. "So this is the part-time job you were telling me about?" It was a bit awkward, meeting her this way after she ran off post-slapping him.

"Yeah," Momoi said with a tight voice before adding the biting remark Kuroko knew was coming. "Right before you broke up with me."

Aomine sighed… "You weren't really going out in the first place."

Aomine had managed to hit a nerve. In a fraction of a second Momoi's facial expression had changed from that of contempt to that of hurt.

"Aomine-kun you… you ganguro!" Momoi reached for the nearest object, which was luckily a towel, and threw it at Aomine's face before she bolted.

"Ahhh… Daiki-kun you have no delicacy do you?" Kuroko stated.

"Tch… So?" Aomine groaned, throwing the towel into a hamper in the corner of the room. "Get going already. I'll wait here."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 11 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Aomine had never heard Kuroko make such a primal scream before. He stood to attention and took no less than two steps before Kuroko, naked except for a towel around his waist, emerged running from a door and slammed straight into his chest. There was horror in his eyes.

"Daiki-kun, let's get out of here quick," Kuroko pleaded.

"Ehh? You say get out of here, but…" Aomine couldn't very well just take an almost naked Kuroko out of the establishment. That was just a felony charge waiting to happen.

"They want to give me a wax, Daiki-kun…"

"What's going o-"

"Ku-ro-ko-kun~" The sweet, albeit threatening, voices of Riko and Momoi filled the air as they came to drag Kuroko back into the depths of The Spa.

"Hey, you girls can't just-"

"We're just doing our job," Riko interrupted Aomine with a hard look on her face, showing him that she intended to fight until the end.

"That's right. This is a professional job that has been paid for in full, so we're doing it," Momoi then added in a less professional voice. "Whatever satisfaction I get out of it is beside the point."

"Daiki-kun…" Aomine's heart clenched at Kuroko's call, but he knew this was out of his hands.

_'Do you best, Tetsu…'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 6 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

The whole 'procedure' took a little over 4 hours to complete. 4 gruelling hours in which Kuroko Tetsuya was preened, prinked, and primped within an inch of his life. Now, thoroughly traumatised by the experience, he clung to Aomine like a lifeline in their living room.

"Tetsu?" Aomine patted Kuroko's back, but the shorter male showed no intention of letting go.

_'Tch, why couldn't he be this clingy during sex?'_

"Hey now Tetsu! It's almost midnight. You need to go to bed. You have to get that CM done tomorrow remember?" Aomine reminded Kuroko, but the light-bluenette simply shook his head against the dark-blunette's shoulder.

"It's not that bad is it?" Exasperated, Aomine tried to reason with Kuroko. However, truth be told, it was exceedingly rare to have Kuroko act so completely out of character. He'd never thought he'd see the day where someone as aloof and unaffected as Kuroko would be this vulnerable and – for a lack of a better word – fluffy…

"They… took… everything… OFF…" Kuroko sobbed, gripping Aomine's shirt until his knuckles went white.

Aomine sighed, "It's just hair… It'll grow back soon enough."

"Someone like Daiki-kun could never understand," Kuroko began. "It's hard enough as it is for me to grow any type of body hair… But, they gave me a Hollywood… While a regular bikini wax just takes the hair outside the bikini line, the Hollywood wax removes everything. EVERYTHING… All my hair was waxed from the front, in the middle, all the way to the back…"

Kuroko looked like he was about to be sick just from retelling his experience.

"So, to sum it up, you don't have any genital hair left?" Aomine asked, his interest genuinely perked.

"Not a single one..."

Aomine chuckled at how seriously Kuroko was taking the whole matter. It was unbearably cute to see him this way, especially after Kuroko had teased him so much about being an uke.

"Don't laugh," Kuroko frowned. "Unlike me, puberty pampered you."

This only made Aomine laugh even harder. "Hahaha… Sorry, my bad haha… I'm surprised is all… I never thought you cared."

"I'm a guy," Kuroko stated. "It matters."

"Okay, okay…" Aomine relented and stopped laughing. "Sorry I laughed," Aomine apologised, but a Cheshire-like smile still donned his face. "Anyways, I like you all soft and smooth."

"Daiki-kun…" Kuroko threatened.

"It makes me happy to see this side of you, Tetsu. Almost intolerably so," Aomine kissed Kuroko full on the mouth.

Lightheaded from the kiss, Kuroko didn't even realise that Aomine had already pulled down his pyjama pants.

"Eh? No, Daiki-kun!"

Aomine sat Kuroko on the sofa, parted his legs, and knelt between them.

"Fuwah… It's completely bare…" Aomine said in amazement as he took Kuroko into his hands, making the smaller male moan.

Encouraged, Aomine continued. While gently massaging Kuroko's growing arousal, Aomine took one of Kuroko's balls into his mouth and lightly sucked.

"Hmm… You've become so much more sensitive now Tetsu," Aomine smirked.

"Dai- ahh…." Kuroko couldn't reply, not when Aomine had taken his length into his warm mouth.

Releasing Kuroko's shaft with an audible 'pop', Aomine got up and left for his room, returning seconds later with something in his hand.

"What's that?" Kuroko asked, but Aomine could already see the fear, and excitement, shining in his baby blues.

"Lube," Aomine revealed.

"Ehh…? I told you didn't I? Daiki-kun you're too big. There's no way-" Aomine silenced Kuroko with a deep, probing kiss, his hands caressing Kuroko's body in soft, yet firm, strokes.

"I'll take care of you," Aomine promised, and proceeded to turn Kuroko around.

Aomine licked Kuroko's little rosette before tickling the sensitive opening with his tongue, causing Kuroko to gasp a mouthful of air. Aomine deposited a generous amount of lubricant into his hands before he went to work on Kuroko's ass.

"C-cold!" Kuroko cried out.

"It'll heat up soon," Aomine husked. "Now spread yourself open for me."

Kuroko didn't have to look at Aomine to know that he was beaming. Kuroko huffed. He didn't want to give Aomine the satisfaction of winning, but he couldn't deny the pleasure Aomine was giving to him either.

"That's it," Aomine cooed as Kuroko slowly parted himself to Aomine's eyes. "Good boy."

Kuroko thank the heavens that Aomine couldn't see the furious flush heating up his face at that moment. Who would've thought that being called a good boy would turn him on so much?

"Daiki…kun…" Kuroko begged; his breathing ragged and much harsher than before.

Finally, Aomine managed to slip the tip of his finger past the tight ring of muscle.

"You're really tight Tetsu." Aomine didn't know whether for smile or frown at what he'd just said. He'd always enjoyed a snug sheath, but with Kuroko's tightness and his own largeness, Aomine doubted that any amount of preparation would help him take Kuroko in the ass.

"Dai… Dai…ki… Something's weird. It feels weird," Kuroko's body suddenly went limp.

"Tetsu?" Aomine asked, worried he might've done something wrong. "What's wrong? You're burning!"

"I don't know…" Kuroko sounded so weak.

"Hold on," Aomine picked up Kuroko and carried him into his room without a second thought. But, when he laid Kuroko down on the futon, 'he' was now a 'she'.

"Tetsu?!" Aomine looked to the bedside alarm clock. It was glowing 00:01

Aomine breathed a sigh of relief as realisation sank in. Kuroko was never in any danger. She just swapped sexes.

"Daiki-kun… Ehh? My voice," Kuroko was surprised herself.

"You're a girl now," Aomine told her. "Guess we forgot about the time." Aomine sat beside her on the futon, brushing the soft hair on her head in a reassuring manner.

"I see," Kuroko closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the security she felt from Aomine's presence. "I've never been awake to experience the transformation before."

"That was oddly ordinary. I thought the transformation would somehow be a bit more... dramatic."

Kuroko chuckled. "What am I? A magical girl?"

"Well technically..." Aomine started, but one look at Kuroko's face was enough to send him the message to leave it be.

"Does it hurt?" Aomine was almost afraid to ask. It was amazing how fast his mood had changed when he thought her life was in danger. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you."

"Daiki-kun?" Kuroko sat up on her futon.

"Hmm?"

"I'm only going to explain this once so listen very carefully."

"Alright."

"You may be taller, and have a stronger chin, shorter hair, smaller eyes, and a more stereotypically masculine demeanour. And yes I have no doubt that I will most definitely always be physically weaker than you. However, just because I'm smaller, weaker, more feminine, and I can open my eyes wider than you doesn't mean that I'm so pathetic as to let you push me around. If I hated something, I'd let you know." Kuroko caressed Aomine's jaw.

Aomine had to hold back his feelings for they were threatening to bubble over. "I should've known," he chuckled. "You're the straightforward type after all."

"That I am." Kuroko said and lifted her chin so that he could press a kiss to her lips.

Kuroko wanted Aomine to crush her against him and pillage her mouth over and over, but he didn't. Instead, he kissed her lightly, nestled her into his body, and looped his arms around her svelte waist. Aomine purred into Kuroko's mouth. It was absolutely delicious to have her in his lap, so close there was barely any space between them. Aomine rained kisses against Kuroko's neck and collarbone. He could hear the thumping beat of her heart.

Aomine's hands worked their way up Kuroko's shirt, his big hands moving up her body with a deliberate slowness until he cupped both breasts, feeling their luscious weight. Kuroko heard herself bite back a moan when Aomine languidly palmed her heavy breasts. The pressure of his hands on her body and his mouth on her neck was almost too sensuous to bear, and when Aomine rolled her nipples between his fingers, Kuroko thought she would melt, right there in his lap. Aomine grinned at her reaction, secretly glad that she hadn't been wearing a bra. The fewer obstacles there were between the two of them the better.

"I've been dying to have you like this," he murmured in her ear.

"Daiki..." Kuroko couldn't care less about adding an honorific.

"Raise your arms," Aomine breathed and soon Kuroko was rid of the pesky shirt.

Strangely, Kuroko didn't feel embarrassed at all. Maybe she felt safer now that they had reaffirmed their feelings for each other. Maybe she was used to the intimacy. Or maybe she was simply too hungry for Aomine to care about covering herself. Either way, she felt bolder than she'd ever felt in her life, drinking in Aomine's blatant appreciation as she seductively thrust out her chest.

"Beautiful," Aomine placed his hands on her waist and caressed his way upwards. "So lovely, it almost feels wicked, being able to touch them." Aomine smoothed his fingers beneath Kuroko's arms and pressed her burgeoning, ripe flesh together, creating a cleft nearly as deep as the Grand Canyon.

Aomine licked his lips before he bent his head to suckle one of her aching nipples. Biting her bottom lip, Kuroko watched him. His tongue flicked over the pale pink bud, sending delicious spasms down her spine that collected in a puddle of sensation between her legs. Aomine's fingers squeezed her other nipple to the verge of pain, but Kuroko didn't care. She simply didn't want Aomine to stop. Kuroko never dreamt that being touched as a woman could feel so sinfully good. She was drowning in pleasure, and they had barely even begun to explore all that there was to be explored.

Aomine breathed in a sharp intake of breath when he released Kuroko's wet nipple. He could spend an eternity with his head between her breasts, but the pressure in his pants was becoming torturous. Aomine's mouth capture Kuroko's in a feverish kiss as he rocked his hips against her, grinding his hard phallus into her soft mound. Instinctively, she groped his member through the cotton of his pants, shocked at how daring her instincts were.

Aomine groaned in her ear, "Tetsu. You're driving me insane." When Kuroko released Aomine's pulsing erection from the confines of his clothing, Aomine grunted and tugged her earlobe with his teeth.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" Kuroko immediately pulled back her hands.

Aomine couldn't believe what a lucky bastard he was. He had the best of both worlds. Kuroko was a naturally sensuous creature. Yet, she was still innocent enough to ignite the most carnal of his desires.

"You were a guy just moments ago, you tell me if I was hurt," Aomine chuckled before he branded her pretty mouth with a kiss that threatened her very sanity.

"Daiki… let me…" Kuroko left the sentence unfinished, but they both knew what she wanted.

Kuroko climbed out of Aomine's lap and pressed a soft kiss on his throbbing member. A shot, of pure, unadulterated craving shot through Aomine's being. He held Kuroko's head in his hands as he gently pumped into her mouth. The sight of her eyes looking up at him, rimmed with tears from the struggle of taking in all of his length, it almost short-circuited his brain.

"Enough Tetsu," Aomine pleaded as he reluctantly removed himself from Kuroko's wanton mouth. "Any more and I'll embarrass myself."

Kuroko blushed, seemingly happy that she had done so well in pleasuring Aomine.

Suddenly, Aomine pushed Kuroko down onto the softness of the futon. He reached for the pillow and urged Kuroko to raise her hips off the futon so he could slip the pillow underneath her pert bottom.

"Part your legs for me," Aomine's deep voice reverberated through Kuroko's body, setting off delicious tingles in a place Aomine was undoubtedly heading towards.

Kuroko moaned and did as she was told. Aomine kissed Kuroko's calves as he slid his hands up her smooth legs. Stopping when he reached the skin of her thighs, Aomine stroke the outer lips of her most precious place as he placed quick, relentless kisses on her inner thighs. Breathless, Kuroko waited as Aomine's fingers tenderly dug into her tissues, searching, finding…

"Oh, yes!"

Kuroko's muscles failed as she felt Aomine's tongue stroke the sensitive little pearl, stoking the fire within her hotter and hotter, bringing her higher and higher. Shutting her eyes so hard that a furrow formed between her brows, Kuroko's dug her fingers into Aomine's hair and rocked to his expert tongue. Her breath hitched as a finger slipped inside her channel only to pull out and circle her over-sensitised nub again. Aomine repeated the motion until she was a blithering, mindless fool in his hands.

"You're more than wet enough." The corners of his mouth quirked up in a proud smile.

Aomine climbed over Kuroko and took her into his arms. Never before did Kuroko feel as small as she did at that moment. Aomine was so much larger than she was, so much stronger. She wondered the reality of it ever really sank in before now.

"Hold onto me, and bite into my shoulder when the pain hits," Aomine's searing eyes bore into Kuroko's.

Heart thundering, Kuroko wrapped her arms around Aomine's neck and clung on for dear life as he breached her defences and slipped inside. The pain that radiated through her body burned like nothing she had experienced before and she winced before sinking her teeth into Aomine's shoulder.

Yet, it was too much.

Too overwhelming.

"It's too big!" Kuroko sobbed as her weak fists hit the back of Aomine's head. "It's too big Daiki- D-Dai... ah... ahhh Daiki I can't!"

Aomine held Kuroko as tightly as he could without hurting her even more as he murmured sweet nothings into her ear, all the time reassuring himself that Kuroko would use the safe word if she really couldn't take him any further.

An eternity later, Kuroko had finally taken all of Aomine into her. Aomine stayed still for the longest time, allowing her the chance to acclimatise to his size before he began a steady rhythm. Aomine sank into Kuroko with each and every thrust, his thigh muscles driving him upwards as his arm muscles pulled Kuroko's hips down to meet him, harder and harder with each passing second.

Kuroko dug her fingers into Aomine's back, his shoulders, his chest… Her senses overloaded; her ears unable to hear anything beyond her moans, his groans, and the pounding of their hips; her eyes unable to see anything beyond her lover's face; her nose unable to smell anything but the scent of their sweat and sex, her tongue unable to do anything except respond to Aomine's kisses; and her flesh too preoccupied with Aomine's hard body to care about the rawness of his invasion anymore.

"Daiki…" Kuroko mewled and Aomine knew she was nearing her peak.

And what a delicious peak it was.

Aomine lost himself in the pleasure as he took in the sight of Kuroko arching, throwing her head back as a soundless moan escaped her lips. Aomine was sure he had never seen a more erotic sight. With the last vestiges of his control, Aomine slipped out of Kuroko just in time for his need to explode all over her lax, thoroughly-satisfied body.

Kuroko blinked sleepily, watching Aomine with sated eyes as he kissed his way up her hip, across her flat stomach, lick both her nipples before finally kissing her like his next breath was hidden somewhere between her lips.

"This is wonderful," Kuroko whispered.

"Indeed it is," Aomine replied without hesitation. Hugging her close to him as sleep finally overcame them.

The last thought that entered Aomine's mind only served to sweeten his dream.

_'It really is different when it's Tetsu.'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 19/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

_'I knew I should've stopped her from going through with this stupid CM!' _Aomine thought furiously as he watched the crew going about the set.

The set was a hotel suite.

"So," The assistant director began. "Kuroko-san, this CM has no dialogue. We just need a few shots of Kise-kun holding your hand while you walk out of the bath tub. Then, when you're drying yourself in front of the mirror, Kise-kun will approach you from behind and spray the fragrance onto your neck. Of course, perfume bottles and tissue boxes etc. will be strategically placed to hide the reflection of whatever can't be shown on TV. Then the two of you will walk to this mark, here right in front of the glass windows and kiss so we can get a wide shot of the Tokyo waterfront in the background. Sounds easy enough right?"

Kuroko thought she heard Aomine's shirt rip.


	4. 4

**WARNINGS!: This is an extremely silly, frivolously-written fic done as a means of procrastination and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sensitive to gender issues, this fic is not for you. OOC. No beta. No plot. No class. No common sense.**

**[T] rating: Language and perversion.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: 404 – Balls Not Found – Part 4**

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 19/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine Daiki leant against the wall in a corner of the hotel suite, his hackles rising. Kuroko Tetsuna was going to be pretty much naked throughout the shoot.

_'M__illions of people are going to see Tetsu,' _Aomine frowned. He shouldn't have given in. _'If only I'd put my foot down.'_

Yet, Aomine knew Kuroko wasn't one to be controlled.

In another part of the suite, Kuroko was having her make-up done with her white terry-cloth robe partially open. One of the make-up artists was none too happy about the amount of hickeys Kuroko had on her otherwise flawless skin.

"Geez, so irresponsible…" The artist grumbled with a brush clench between her teeth as she went about concealing the hickeys. "This is why I hate newcomers, creating this much unnecessary work."

"I sincerely apologise. I was unaware that the CM would require me to show this much skin." Judging from the number of fresh love bites mostly concentrated around her breasts, it was safe to say that Kuroko hadn't made a good first impression on the make-up crew.

Kuroko looked across the set at Aomine, the perpetrator of said blemishes. He was out of earshot, what with the racket of getting the set ready and all, but his blue gaze reciprocated her own, and from the way he was smirking, Kuroko had to wonder if he had figured out what the make-up crew were on about.

Kuroko looked down at her chest. The blemishes were considerably less visible now thanks to the magic of make-up, but she couldn't help but be suspicious.

_'__Did Daiki-kun do this on purpose?'_

However, all thoughts about Aomine's deliberate marking of her faded to the back of her mind when another make-up artist emitted a cheerful laugh, "Haha, don't worry 'bout her. She's just jealous 'cos she ain't gettin' any. Now look up."

"Hey!"

The women were obviously good friends. Kuroko thought it best to keep quiet as they exchanged verbal blows. But, when the woman with the Kansai accent came at her with an eyeliner pen, she instinctively recoiled.

"Stay still." The make-up artist smiled at Kuroko. The blue-headed beauty was almost cross-eyed, staring at the tip of the pen with dread. "You act like you've never had this done before."

"I haven't," Kuroko admitted, willing herself to not move, not blink, or cry as the artist carefully applied the eyeliner. The sensation was weird. Make-up for both men and women were the norm these days, but it was a norm Kuroko never really paid much attention to.

"There! You're all set!" The two women took a step back and admired their work. "Yup! A beaut' if there ever was one!"

_'__So this is the power of professionals…' _Kuroko thought as she looked at herself in the mirror.

The artists had used minimal product for maximum impact. A dash of blush here; a hint of mascara there; long light-blue locks curled to fabulosity; plus a smidgeon of colour on Kuroko's naturally pouty lips, and she rivalled any woman in the industry.

"Tetsu," Aomine whispered from his little corner of the large suite, his brow set in a heavy scowl. He thought Kuroko looked amazing. The problem was, so did everyone else.

Aomine walked towards Kuroko. It was all he could do to stop himself from kicking someone in the teeth.

"You could still opt out, you know?" Aomine tried to convince Kuroko.

"Not that I don't want to," Kuroko confessed. "But, I really don't think I'm allowed to at this point."

Kuroko wore her hesitation on her face, something she did so rarely it tightened Aomine's chest. He reached for her face, wanting to caress her cheek, but Kuroko took a step back.

"The make-up might come off," Kuroko explained, but it did nothing to soothe Aomine's growing temper.

"Tch…"

"Daiki-kun, please don't do this right now. I'm tired as is." True, Kuroko still hadn't fully recovered from the night before. "And I have to wear this 'NuBra' thing for the shoot. It's really uncomfortable. So please – be patient." She frowned a little.

"NuBra?" Aomine arched an eyebrow.

To create illusion of nudity, clever editing, and flesh-coloured, barely-there undergarments had to be used.

"This thing…" Kuroko parted her robe down to her waist. The sight almost gave the men on set nosebleeds. Strapless, bandless, and backless; it barely qualified as clothing.

"…" Aomine was speechless.

"Apparently, it's only supposed to cover 80% of your breasts. The lady said I was lucky that my breasts were naturally high," Kuroko said.

"That's not the frickking problem right now!" A vein popped at the back of Aomine's head as he forcefully kept his voice down, promptly closing Kuroko's robe and belting it tightly around her small waist. _'Damn! She keeps forgetting that she's a girl right now!'_

"Aominecchi! Tetsujincchi!" Kise Ryouta had arrived on set, already prepped and ready for the shoot. "Wow! You look gorgeous Tetsujincchi!"

Kise turned towards the crew and bowed, thanking everyone for taking care of his friends.

"Alright people, attention please!" The assistant director began. "We're going to do our first take momentarily. So, places everybody. Go, go, go!" The middle-aged balding man clapped, ushering everyone into work mode before bringing Kise and Kuroko to meet the director.

The director was a tall young man with chin-length black hair and gentle eyes with exceptionally long eyelashes.

"Both of you look great. My name's Reo by the way." The director was cheerful and relaxed. "Now I know Kuroko-san you don't have any experience with these things. But, you've got a lot of veterans looking after you, so there's no need to be nervous okay? Plus, I know a good camera face when I see one." Reo smiled and squeezed Kuroko's shoulder, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by either Aomine or Kise. "So just relax and have fun with it. The point of the CM isn't really to sell the fragrance anyway. We're selling a concept; the concept of romance – of lust. 'Souffle d'Ange makes women irresistible. Souffle d'Ange drives men crazy,' – that's what we want the viewers to think. So I need the two of you to show your chemistry. Think 'soft', 'slow', and 'seductive'. Don't rush."

Reo looked at Kuroko. "We want women to look at you and want to be you; want to wield the power to drive men out of control." He then looked at Kise. "And we want men to look at you and wish they themselves could have a woman so desirable." Reo smiled. "Does this CM objectify women? I'm afraid it does. But hey, it's what the executives want. After all, it's no secret sex sells. So, let's just do our job and maybe even have fun doing it. Makes sense?"

"Yes, director," Kise and Kuroko replied.

"Good, now let's make a CM shall we?" Reo signalled to the assistant director.

Kuroko took of her robe and entered the Jacuzzi.

"Okay! Souffle d'Ange, take one – Action!"

As soon as the cameras started rolling, Kuroko's sensuality enchanted everyone on set. Every delicate turn of her angelic neck; every subtle flicker of her eyes from beneath her lashes translated to magic on film. Her little movements were natural – made subconsciously. And, no one knew that they would be so effective.

"The girl's a natural," the assistant director mumbled to Reo.

Even Aomine momentarily held his breath when Kuroko stood up and walked out of the Jacuzzi, her hand in Kise's.

The magic kept going as the scene continued to the bedroom. As scripted, Kuroko sat in front of the dresser, slowly drying herself with soft patting movements.

Aomine smiled. Nobody he knew dried themselves so inefficiently. But he had to admit, it looked good on film.

Kise came from behind Kuroko, bent at the waist; half hugging, half caressing Kuroko as he sprayed a copious amount of Souffle d'Ange on her neck. Like the seasoned professional he was, Kise deftly positioned the bottle so it was in the middle of the shot.

Kuroko wasn't sure if what happened next was improvised. She thought they were just going to walk to their mark in front of the windows and kiss, but Kise had other ideas. He had already started kissing her!

_'__What should I do?' _Kuroko was uncertain, but Kise didn't give her time to think. His skilled tongue pried her lips open as he took a hold of her body, caressing her skin until his strong arms encircled her. There was so little space between them; the only place Kuroko could set her hands was on his chest. Kise had total control, not even breaking the kiss as he backed Kuroko into the window. Goosebumps formed on her skin as her naked back came into contact with the cold glass pane. The lack of oxygen made her lightheaded; so dizzy she didn't even react when he grasped the back of her shapely thigh.

"CUT!"

"Kise broke the kiss, surprised that it had been Aomine who yelled the signal to stop filming.

Kuroko looked at Aomine as she put her robe back on. "Daiki-kun…"

The tanned male was fuming.

"Hey!" The assistant shouted, but Reo stopped him before he could say anything else.

"It's okay guys, cut the cameras," Reo said, and everything came to a stop. "Look kid, I've been told who you are, but you're getting in the way of our work."

Aomine's patience had finally worn out. "You're lucky I waited this long. What were you after? You had your damn footage."

"Aominecchi!" Kise rushed over, but Aomine promptly pushed the blonde away.

'_I shouldn't be this pissed. Kise's just doing his job. But damn it! I can't stand him right now,'_ Aomine thought.

"Aomine-san, please leave the hotel," Reo warned. He was about to call in security when Kuroko dragged Aomine to the front entrance.

"I think you should leave," Kuroko whispered, hoping for some privacy where there was clearly none.

"What?!"

"Not for the sake of the CM, but for your own. Please, I don't want to see you getting thrown out of here." Kuroko pleaded.

"Tetsu, it felt like I was part of some fucking third-rate Netorare bullshit," Aomine seethed.

"Daiki-kun, Kise's your friend and this is just a CM." Kuroko looked at Aomine with her big, baby-blue eyes.

Aomine sighed, _'I never did could win against those eyes.'_

"Fine." Aomine muttered. "I'll leave." He looked at Kise "Look after her," and then at Kuroko "Call me when you're done."

"I will," Kuroko managed to let out just before Aomine planted a rough, territorial kiss on her lips.

_'__Aominecchi…'_ Kise frowned at the aggressive display, thinking, _'Why didn't it ever cross my mind that those two were involved?' _as he watched Aomine leave the room.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 3 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

The Tokyo waterfront was relatively quiet that morning. The coldness of the February month had most people staying indoors. Aomine, however, was wandering around the waterfront trying to cool off. Yet, his efforts were wasted every time he remembered Kise and Kuroko.

_'__Fuck…'_ The expletive rang again and again in his head.

He had completely overestimated his self-control. He shouldn't have been there. Of course he couldn't have maintained his composure. Why had he even fooled himself into thinking that he'd be all right with someone else being intimate with Kuroko, act or no act? Why had he let Kuroko have her way in the first place?

_'__Because I want Tetsu to fall in love with me, that's fucking why,' _Aomine wished it hadn't been so easy to know, but Kuroko still swapped sexes every 24 hours. It was the ultimate confirmation that Kuroko wasn't in love with Aomine.

"Come on baby," The sleazy voice of a shady character came into audible range.

"Get lost." The feminine voice was familiar to Aomine.

It only took a glance for Aomine to recognise Momoi Satsuki, the pretty girl whose relationship with Kuroko Tetsuya had essentially started and ended by his hands.

"Aww, don't be so cold. Let's go have some fun. I'll show ya a good time, promise." Momoi was visibly repulsed, but she wasn't having much luck telling the man to leave her in peace.

Aomine sighed, wondering if he was going to regret what he was about to do.

"Oi…" Aomine warned. Aomine was so much taller than the stranger. His shadow alone would've been enough to intimidate Momoi's unwanted suitor, he didn't really needed to look so pissed. But, unfortunately for the stranger, Aomine was already in a bad mood. "Scram."

And scram he did.

"Ah, there he goes." Aomine casually commented.

"What did you do that for?" Momoi asked; her expression anything but thankful.

"Amazing, you're angry at me?" It was incredulous. Aomine almost laughed.

"I could've handled it! I didn't need you to butt your ganguro head into my business."

"What you see as butting in, most people would think of as rescuing."

"Pfft… Whatever." Momoi walked off.

Aomine forced a hard smile. The use of 'whatever' as a sentence irritated him to no end, but he reminded himself that Momoi was probably still not over how things had ended with Kuroko.

_'__Stupid ganguro!'_ Momoi bit her lip as she continued walking home, annoyed that Aomine of all people had helped her out.

From the corner of her eye, Momoi saw that the person occupying her thoughts was coming up behind her. "Stop following me!"

"Who'd wanna follow you ugly? I'm just heading in the same direction."

"Then don't walk so close to me!"

"I can't help it. Your butt's so wide it's blocking the whole path." Aomine groaned internally_. 'Way to be mature Aomine.'_

"Y-Y-You!" Momoi's face was red from both anger and embarrassment. "You AHOMI-" Momoi stopped mid-insult, turned away from Aomine, and sneezed. '_Uhhh… It's so cold.' _Momoi shivered, rubbing her arms up and down for warmth.

"Here."

Momoi turned. Aomine had taken off his jacket.

"Do you have a fever?" Momoi asked, looking at Aomine like he had a few loose screws up in his head.

"Argh, just take the damn thing." Aomine couldn't believe it. _'Is she being difficult just for the sake of it?' _

"No," Momoi refused.

"Look, I don't want the image of your ugly face dripping with snot to haunt my nightmares, so just take the damn jacket," Aomine demanded, but Momoi had already walked away, completely ignoring him.

_'__Stupid Ahomine!' _Momoi almost teared-up. No one had ever lambasted her looks to her face before.

"Oi!"

_'__Go away!' _Momoi doubled her pace; wishing Aomine would leave her alone. She didn't want him to see her cry.

Suddenly, Momoi felt something on her head. Aomine had thrown his jacket on her head.

"Seriously?!" Momoi clenched her teeth. "I can't believe how much of an ass you are!" Gripping the jacket a tad too tightly, she stomped towards Aomine and gave him an unceremonious kick to the shin.

"Ow!" Aomine yelped. "You kicked me?" He asked in disbelief.

"You threw a jacket at me!" Momoi rebutted.

"You threw a towel at me the other day!" Aomine reminded her.

"It was a towel! You threw a jacket at me!" Momoi shoved said jacket into the space in front of her for emphasis.

"It was a big towel!"

"If I could do it again, I'd throw the whole darn cart at you!" Momoi huffed and readied herself for Aomine's comeback.

Yet, amazingly, he laughed instead.

_'__She's so different from what I thought she'd be,' _Aomine thought and chuckled, "You're not the least bit feminine. Did you show this side of yourself to Tetsu?"

At this, Momoi pouted. Aomine registered how different it was compared to the little blink-and-you'll-miss-it pouts Kuroko made here and there. Momoi's was the pout of a seasoned veteran; the perfected pushing of one's bottom lip forward as an expression of petulant annoyance whilst managing to make oneself look sexually attractive.

_'__The destructive power of that pout is really quite something,'_ Aomine thought.

"I really liked Tetsu-kun." Aomine's smile faded at Momoi's quiet voice. "Any girl would want to be feminine in front of the boy she likes. I knew… The two of us were just hanging out – Tetsu-kun probably never felt that way about me – but I really thought he'd come to like me."

Aomine lowered his gaze. He had played a part in her sadness, but he didn't know how to apologise.

But then, the pink-haired beauty started weeping.

"Eh? Ehhhh?!" Aomine flustered. Like many men throughout the universe, he had no idea what to do when women cried. "Hey, stop crying. Your snot's dripping oi."

"Ahomine you mean ganguro!" Momoi cried harder. She hadn't even cried when Kuroko made it clear he wasn't interested in a relationship with her, but now here she was, crying in front of Kuroko's best friend over something that had happened over six days ago.

"Ahomine?" Aomine sighed, _'What am I supposed to do?' _People were starting to look at them, most of them eyeing him suspiciously. "Tch! Stop crying." But alas, Momoi wasn't calming down, and Aomine was reminded of Kuroko's words, _'"Aomine, you lack delicacy."' _

"Th- There, there…" Aomine awkwardly patted Momoi's head, trying to console her how Kuroko would've.

The dichotomy between Aomine 'now' and Aomine 'just a few minutes ago' seemed to catch Momoi's attention for she calmed down. "Stop treating me like a kid, idiot"

"Then stop acting like one."

"I do not-"A cyclist had zoomed dangerously close past them, knocking Momoi off her feet.

"Flirt somewhere else, morons!" The cyclist shouted as he sped away. He looked like a high-schooler.

Aomine's brow furrowed, he could've caught up to the brat if he started running. But, he had to make sure Momoi was unhurt.

"You okay?" Aomine crouched down.

"Oww…" Momoi groaned. "Why didn't you catch me?"

Aomine raised an eyebrow at her pointed look. "I thought you were against being rescued."

Momoi pouted again. "Ass…"

"Here," Aomine offered her his hand. Momoi took it and tried standing but very soon realised that she had been hurt.

"My ankle," Momoi winced, and sneezed soon after. She was still cold after all.

Without a word, Aomine grabs his jacket and motions for Momoi to put it on. She wanted to refuse on principle. However, when she sneezed again three times in a row, she knew she needed Aomine's offer.

"Hop on." Momoi was shocked. Aomine was crouched down with his back to her.

"Really?" Momoi's mouth hung open.

"How else are you gonna get home?"

* * *

Kuroko sat quietly in the passenger seat of Kise's car, checking her phone for the third time in the past hour. There was still no contact from Aomine. The shoot had continued for a while after his departure, but now that it had finally wrapped, Kuroko and Kise were heading back to hers and Aomine's flat.

"Is someone going to pick you up from Kurokocchi's place?" Kise asked.

There was a moment of silence before Kuroko replied, "Yes." She didn't want to say any more than that, didn't want to make up anything more than that. Kuroko was already feeling the weariness of hiding the truth about her circumstance from a friend as close as Kise.

Kuroko rested her head against the window, her tired eyes watching the familiar scenery pass by only to widen at the sight of Aomine carrying Momoi on his back.

* * *

Momoi hated admitting it, but in his own way, Aomine was strong and protective. His broad back was something most girls dreamed of in a boyfriend. If he had been born a thousand years earlier, Momoi had no doubt Aomine would've been a warrior, a man of prominence.

"Hey Aomine-kun?" Momoi asked, her voice much softer now that she was so close to his ear. "What's your name?"

"Daiki," Aomine answered. "But you can call me whatever you like, I don't really care much for formality."

"Hmm? Even Ahomine?"

"Don't push your luck." Aomine muttered, making Momoi laugh.

"Hahaha… Let's see…" Momoi tried out all the variations. "Daiki. Daiki-kun, Dai-kun, Dai-chan-whoah!" Aomine had almost tripped.

"Quit fooling around," Aomine warned but kept on walking like nothing was wrong. Yet, Momoi saw the distinct reddening of his ears.

"Dai-chan?" Momoi tested. If it were possible, his ears reddened even further. Momoi grinned. "Dai-chan it is then!"

"Don't call me that!" Aomine tried to sound threatening, but Momoi wasn't having it.

"Aww, don't be so grumpy. You can call me Satsuki. There! See? Now we're even." Aomine could tell the girl was grinning without looking at her.

"We're not even. You do not have my permission to call me 'that'" Aomine stressed, but Momoi was no longer listening to him.

"Hey, we're here." They had arrived at the building where Momoi shared an apartment with Aida Riko. "It's just on the ground floor. There – No. 8" Momoi pointed towards the door bearing the number eight.

"Are you okay if I leave you here?" Aomine asked as he let Momoi off in front of her door.

"Yeah, Riko's home and I can hop my way in no problem," Momoi gave Aomine an assuring smile.

Aomine and Momoi said their goodbyes and parted ways. It was amazing how much had happened in the span of one afternoon. A few hours ago, Momoi couldn't stand Aomine. But now, Momoi couldn't help but smile when she thought of him.

_'__Turns out, he's just a jerk with a heart of gold.'_

"I'm back," Momoi said.

"Welcome back. You look happy." Riko asked. "Something good happen?"

"Yeah."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 3 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

It was well after sundown when Kuroko finally received a message from Aomine.

[Sorry, forgot to turn off silent mode when I left the set. Glad to know Kise drove you home. On my way home now. – Daiki]

Kuroko was sat in the middle of the living room looking over Kagami's notes when she heard Aomine walk through the door.

"I'm home."

"Welcome home."

Aomine looked at Kuroko. Her face was now completely make-up free. Yet, even with her hair messily pinned on top of her head and donning just a T-shirt and pants that were both too baggy on her, she was nonetheless beautiful. Kuroko repeatedly spun the pen in her right hand, a habit she often did when deep in thought. Lately, Aomine had been thinking how attractive that habit of her was.

Aomine sat behind Kuroko and proceeded to hug her, resting his chin atop her head.

"Please stop using me as a chin rest." Kuroko pulled away from Aomine, gathered her paperwork, and stood up. "I'm gonna work in my room. If you haven't already eaten, there's dinner in the fridge."

"Is everything alright?" Aomine asked as he, too, got up.

"Yes," Kuroko replied, but Aomine could tell that she was closed off.

"Are you sure? Did everything go okay at the shoot? Did they make you do something you were uncomfortable with?"

"No, everything went well at the shoot."

"Then why am I sensing ah- ahh..." Aomine sneezed.

"Where's your jacket?" Kuroko asked, knowing perfectly well where it was. _'Please tell me the truth. I can't handle lies anymore.'_

Kuroko hated keeping the truth from Kise, Momoi, and even Kagami. She hated lies – period.

Yet, she herself was a lie. Kuroko wasn't a girl. She was a guy. And right now, she wanted nothing more than to break the curse plaguing her so she could resume the life she knew before her twenty-first.

_'__Fall in love, they said.' _Kuroko felt herself frown. _'Wouldn't be much of a curse if that was so easily done.'_

But by hook or by crook, Kuroko was determined to break the curse. She had thought Aomine to be the obvious choice. After all, there were very few people she liked more than her childhood friend. Despite that, Aomine was a guy. Moreover, their relationship only escalated when Kuroko started turning into a girl every other day. Regardless of what Aomine claimed, Kuroko struggled to believe that any of what they had would've been possible had the curse not happened.

The feeling of self-doubt was familiar to Kuroko. It was something she had dealt with all throughout middle school and high school. She wasn't athletic, but she loved playing basketball, and no amount of insecurity had stopped her from winning the national championships with her team. Still, when it came to basketball, she had always had Aomine; the light to her darkness; someone she knew would always be there to catch her passes.

With this however...

_'__I can't keep on using you as my crutch.'_

And more than anything, the very fact that she was still a girl meant that she wasn't in love with Aomine. Kuroko was sure it was something Aomine had dwelled upon as well.

"Oh, that. I gave it to Satsuki. I met her just now." Aomine paused to sneeze. "This brat made her fall." Aomine sneezed again. "Twisted her ankle." And yet again. "I had to give her a piggy-back ride."

Kuroko smiled, thankful for the truth. "Are you not going to crack a joke about her breasts pressing against your back?"

"With Satsuki?" Aomine raised an eyebrow, but in truth, he was surprised himself. He hadn't even thought about her in such a way.

"'Satsuki' huh?" Kuroko smiled a little. "The two of you seem like you'd get along well."

_'__I can't help but think that I'm holding you back from meeting your real sweetheart, whether it'd be Momoi-san or someone else.'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 21/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Even though they were in the last few weeks of winter, the weather had gotten progressively colder over the past few days. It had even started to snow this morning, and by late evening, there was enough snow on the streets for children to build snowmen.

Kagami and Kuroko were having another tutoring session at his home. Kagami yawned and check the time. It was late.

"You alright?" Kagami asked Kuroko. "You seem a bit sad today."

"Everything's fine," Kuroko replied.

"Okay, now I know something's wrong. Nobody's ever 'fine' when they say 'everything's fine'." Kagami put down his pen. "Talk to me."

Kuroko smiled at the truth in Kagami's words.

"Is it about Aomine?" Kagami asked.

"Is it that obvious?" Kuroko asked.

"Yeah," Kagami gave a wry smile. "I've never known a friendship between a guy and a girl to not suffer from the typical romantic drama."

"Believe you me. This is anything but typical." Kuroko laughed. "Plus, you and I are friends."

"Yeah, but I have feelings for you remember?" Kagami reminded Kuroko about his confession that day in the library. "Don't tell me you've forgotten?"

"How could I?"

"See?" Kagami grinned. "You and me. 'Girl' and 'guy'. Typical romantic drama. 'Guy' still interested by the way."

Kuroko's brows furrowed. "Kagami-kun, I'm not really who you think I am."

"Kuroko, my feelings aren't so fickle as to waver due to some minor personality flaw." Kagami looked ardently at Kuroko, not wanting to miss a single signal; in the small chance one was given.

"I don't know." Kuroko's smile was rueful. "It's a pretty big flaw."

"Big enough to be a deal-breaker?"

"Most likely."

Kagami laughed. "Yeah right, I forgot. You're a dude who's a girl every other day."

"In all seriousness Kagami-kun, that wasn't a joke," Kuroko wished Kagami would believe her. Maybe then, she wouldn't feel so desolate. _'But what if Kagami-kun completely rejects me?'_

"Yeah, okay, okay. Where are your balls then?" Kagami challenged. He too could play the game.

"I don't have them on me at the moment." Kuroko spoke the truth, but it only made Kagami laugh.

"This is one of the things I like so much about you." Kagami admitted. "You've got this serious look on your face all the time, yet you can even joke around like this."

"Kagami-kun…" Kuroko exhaled, exasperated by how much of an airhead Kagami could be. "I'm really not joking about-"

Outside, the wind howled, blowing with a ferocity that shook even the furniture.

Kagami gave Kuroko a worried look before he looked up the news on his phone.

_"__A severe snowstorm with strong sustained winds of up to 65 km/h has suddenly hit the Kanto region. The cell had formed rapidly off the coast of the Chiba Prefecture and is expected to last for up to anywhere between 3 to 5 hours. Visibility is expected to drop to about 400m or less. Citizens are advised to stay indoors and secure any unsecure fixtures. We will continue to keep you updated with the latest new…"_ The reporter's voice disappeared when Kagami locked his phone.

"I have to leave now," Kuroko said, getting up.

"Are you crazy?" Kagami couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Did you not just hear what the news lady said? Strong winds? Low visibility? Stay indoors?"

"You really don't want me to stay," Kuroko assured Kagami. "And it hasn't gotten that bad out there. Not yet. I could still make it."

"You can't be serious. It's not safe. None of the trains are gonna be running." Kagami gripped Kuroko's arm like a vice. "I'm not about to let a girl walk out there into a snowstorm!"

Kuroko looked at the clock; she was running out of time.

"Please, Kagami-kun. I don't want you to hate me," Kuroko pleaded.

"Don't look at me with those eyes!" Kagami scowled. "And what's this rubbish about hating you?"

2 minutes to midnight. Kuroko couldn't bear lying anymore. "I'm a guy, Kagami-kun."

"Stop joking around. It's not funny anymore."

"I'm really not joking, Kagami-kun." Kuroko kept her voice as steady as she could.

1 minute to midnight. Kuroko really wanted to leave. She couldn't bear to see Kagami's face when he realised that he'd been taken for a fool.

"You're out of your fricckin mind. You're staying." Kagami put his foot down.

Kuroko looked at the clock. Time was up. Her friendship with Kagami was never going to be the same again.

"I'm sorry Kagami-kun." Kuroko crouched down, feeling the familiar burning feeling creep through her veins.

If it hadn't had happened right in front of his eyes, Kagami was sure he would've never in a million years believed something so preposterous could exist outside of shoujo manga and badly-written fan-fiction.

The Kuroko he knew had all but been replaced by someone else.

Someone who, for all intents and purposes, looked almost identical to the Kuroko he knew.

Except, Kagami was pretty sure this Kuroko had balls – not the literal kind.


	5. 5

**WARNINGS!: This is an extremely silly, frivolously-written fic done as a means of procrastination and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sensitive to gender issues, this fic is not for you. OOC. No beta. No plot. No class. No common sense.**

**[T] rating: Language and perversion.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: 404 – Balls Not Found – Part 5**

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 21/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

When Momoi Satsuki went out that evening, she hadn't counted on the weather turning so grim. The freak weather enveloping Tokyo had deposited a dry iciness in the air to match the hefty amount of snow on the ground. Even her roommate had chosen to stay at her boyfriend's place for the night rather than travel back home.

Momoi exhaled into her cold hands. She couldn't wait to get home and get warm. However, it seemed the universe had other plans for when she turned a corner, she bumped into the collapsed body of none other than Aomine Daiki.

"Dai-chan?" Momoi rushed toward him. "Are you okay?" It was a redundant question. Momoi's brows wrinkled as she watched Aomine struggle to get back on his feet in the slippery snow. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing a tad too irregular.

"I'm fine, and don't call me that," Aomine managed to say, but his uncharacteristically hoarse and scratchy voice failed to convince Momoi.

When Aomine almost stumbled again, Momoi's hands reached out to him on impulse to help him steady himself. "Are you sick?" she asked.

"Heh, maybe." Aomine shook his head while blinking his eyes, as if the motion itself would help clear his bleary vision. But it only served to worsen his piercing, pulsating headache.

"What do you mean maybe?" Momoi huffed, now wrinkling her nose at Aomine's lackadaisical attitude as she placed the back of her hand on his forehead. "Where are you going with such a high temperature?!"

"Nowhere you need to know." Momoi gave Aomine a black look which softened at his noticeable effort in trying to maintain a hold on consciousness.

"Come, you need to lie down. We're not that far from my place," Momoi said with a firm but gentle persistence.

Aomine opened his mouth to protest but decided to warn Momoi instead as his eyes watered, "Satsuki, I might throw up soon."

"Don't you dare!"

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 10 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Aomine didn't, much to Momoi's relief, empty the contents of his stomach after all. He did, however, became increasingly confused and disoriented during their journey.

Aomine Daiki's physique wasn't just for show. He was an incredibly heavy person to help move. Yet, despite the weight of all that muscle, the petite Momoi Satsuki had managed to get him into her home, get him out of his wet clothes, and get him under the kotatsu. Aomine himself barely did anything to help of course, as tottered as he was.

"Dai-chan," Momoi shook him, wanting to ask him to turn to his side so she could take his temperature. However, she didn't even have to ask. Aomine grumbled something incomprehensible and turned to his side. "Geeze…" Momoi pouted as she gently pulled his left ear up and back before inserting the tip of the tympanic thermometer into the opening.

Aomine whined, feebly complaining as he brought his hand up to brush away the tickle in his ear. However, Momoi simply wasn't having it. "Endure it you big baby!" She clucked. "40.5°C! That's a high fever!"

"I am not high!" Aomine rasped.

"Dai-chan?" Momoi voiced, worried about Aomine's sudden irateness.

Aomine's head snapped toward Momoi in response to her call. He clutched at her in his blurred vision and pushed her down with the sheer weight of his body.

"Why do you insist on teasing me with that name Tetsu?" He objected with gentle remonstrance as he traced his hand up Momoi's body and squeezed her breasts upon reaching her chest.

"Where do you think you're touching pervert. Get off!" Momoi demanded, her elbows straining to put more space between herself and Aomine.

"Hey, did you hear? Scientists say there'll be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus," Aomine laughed before he descended his mouth onto Momoi's.

Momoi gripped Aomine's shirt so hard it turned her knuckles to the colour of bone. She kept her lips tightly shut and turned away from him. However, Aomine's lips followed hers, recapturing them and this time breaking through her defences. He blitzed the inside of her mouth with a hot, trenchant kiss until she responded in kind. And then, just as abruptly as the kiss began, it ended. The weariness of the illness had finally taken a toll on Aomine's body. He dropped next to Momoi, and murmured a name that wasn't hers until he fell into deep sleep.

Momoi wanted to cry. It had taken Aomine to be mentally confused, delirious even, before he made a move on her. And even then, he hadn't even realised that it was her he was kissing.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 22/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Kagami Taiga's mouth fell open, blinking repeatedly while his mind tried to compute the absurdity before him. 'Life is stranger than fiction' they said. Well, if that's the case, the author of his life must've been writing stoned. "Wh- What the hell Kuroko? What just happened?"

"I've been trying to tell you Kagami-kun," Kuroko Tetsuya explained, doing his best to calm the quiver in his stomach. His hands smoothed down his jeans. He didn't know what else to do, standing there, exposed to whatever judgement Kagami might deliver.

"Any fu- Anyone would've taken it as a joke!" Kagami disputed, his voice louder than intended.

Kuroko took a step back at Kagami's words.

Four seconds. They were all it took for the hush to turn into silence, a pause which doesn't refresh, that awkward moment relived on encore.

"Kuroko I- I didn't mean that you're a joke- ahhh shit!" Kagami plopped down on the sofa, both hands running through his dark red locks before ending up clasped together at the back of his neck.

"No, it's alright." Kuroko shook his head and bowed. "I'm sorry you had to go through this." Kuroko turned around to leave, but a hand fell on his shoulder just as he was about to turn the doorknob.

"No…" Kagami swallowed. "Stay… I-I-I mean it's dangerous in this weather. If anything happens to you it'll be my fault."

"Are you sure?" Kuroko asked. Kagami looked conflicted by his own conscience.

"Y-yeah…" Kagami mumbled. _'It's no big deal right? Since we're both guys. Right?'_

"Then… thank you for letting me stay." Kuroko bowed and adjusted his clothing again.

"Your clothes," Kagami began. "Aren't they uncomfortable?" Kuroko's white oxford shirt and capri pants looked a tad too tight for him. _'Wait? Wait? Wait? Wait? Wait! Doesn't it look like I'm trying to get him out of his clothes?'_ Kagami felt the beginnings of heart palpitations at the thought, but Kuroko didn't seem to have misunderstood.

"Yes." A straightforward answer as always.

"Uhh, give me a minute. I'll get you something to sleep with- IN! I meant in! I'll get you something to sleep IN!" Kagami stammered, his face florid with embarrassment.

* * *

Minutes later, Kuroko was wearing one of Kagami's old shirts from his high school days. Yet, it was still overly large and baggy on Kuroko's smaller frame.

"Thank you Kagami-kun. Although it is a bit big…" No pants of Kagami's fit Kuroko, so he opted to stay in his boxer shorts. The thing was, Kagami's shirt was large enough to make it seem like Kuroko had nothing down under, and the overall effect of Kuroko's cute face, bare legs, and wearing what ultimately rendered as a boyfriend-shirt made Kagami want to bang his head against the wall.

_'__No… It's perfect…'_

"Kagami-kun?" Kuroko's voice snapped Kagami out of his reverie. "Are you okay? You seem kind of red."

Kagami backed into the wall when Kuroko tried to approach him. "Ahh.. Ahhhahaha… It's damn hot isn't it? I'll turn on the AC."

"Kagami-kun, there's a blizzard outside…"

* * *

Kagami and Kuroko laid back-to-back on the bed, both equally silent in the darkened room. Yet, Kagami could tell Kuroko was still awake.

"Kuroko?" Kagami called, still with his back to Kuroko's.

"Hmm?"

"What's it like?" Kagami queried. "Being a girl?"

"Hmm…" Kuroko paused. "Unexpected – I suppose is a way to describe it? I'm not sure how to explain. Some things are a bit strange, I guess," Kuroko answered reflectively.

"Like what?" Kagami prodded.

"Sometimes I still get shocked when my balls are nowhere to be found."

Kagami went pale. "Does it feel weird? Not having anything there?"

"Kagami-kun… How would you feel if you looked down one day and your little soldier was missing?" Kuroko asked.

"Shit, I'd freak the hell out!" Kagami blubbered. "That's like losing a best friend!"

"I wouldn't put it that way, but I understand what you mean," Kuroko chortled at Kagami's reaction. "On another note, I do have a better appreciation of urinating upright now."

"Yeah," Kagami agreed, meaning the word more seriously than it sounded. "After all, one of the benefits of being a man is standing up to pee."

Kuroko smiled, finding it funny how seriously Kagami was taking everything he said.

"What about skirts?" Kagami's curiosity had taken over.

"Breezy," Kuroko informed in an easy tone.

"Boobs?"

"Bra or back pain."

"Female public baths?"

"Every bit as heavenly as you probably think it is."

"I-! I-I was just curious!" Kagami defended.

"I know." Mirth was clearly audible in Kuroko's voice as he and Kagami continued their Q&amp;A session.

"What about that? Err.. that monthly thing? Wait, can you even get that? Switching and all?"

"I'm still not sure what goes on with this body to be honest," Kuroko went on with simple directness. "But, once, I woke up with blood running all the way down my pyjama pants."

"Shit. Did it hurt?" Kagami tried to not sound unduly curious.

"Imagine having a uterus, then imagine that uterus lined with blood vessels, then imagine said uterus contracting and contracting until every last bit of said lining was expelled through the vagina you now have," Kuroko explained in grave detail. "Of course it hurt."

Kagami made a little whinge, clouded with a sense of guilt, "Sorry about making you remember all that."

Kuroko wished that he could've somehow seen the look on the redhead's face. "It wasn't all bad," Kuroko revealed. "Daiki-kun probably suffered more than I did. Perhaps, I shouldn't have shouted at him as much as I did," Kuroko smiled, remembering what happened that day. "Can you imagine someone like him googling about menstruation?"

"Heck no," Kagami scrunched his nose; unable to picture the tanned male diligently scrolling through websites about such a foreign concept while Kuroko sat in the background, yelling at him about how much pain she was in.

"He ran to the convenience store and came back with 5 different brands of sanitary napkins, 2 boxes of chocolates, and a packet of marshmallows."

Even with his back to him in the unlit room, Kagami could clearly tell that Kuroko was smiling. He stopped himself from sighing_. 'He's a guy. Aomine's a guy. We're all guys! So why do I still feel like crap?'_

"Kuroko?" Kagami spoke.

"Hmm?" Kuroko's voice was soft, muffled by the cotton blanket he now had up to his nose.

"That guy – Aomine, what does he think about you… y'know switching and stuff?"

"He was troubled at the beginning," Kuroko began. "But, I suppose in a way, he's still troubled."

"You two... You guys are going out right? Even th- ah…" Kagami faltered.

"Even though we're both guys?" Kuroko professed.

"Y-Yeah…"

"Probably… Maybe… It's all very…"

"Complicated?" Kagami supplied.

"Yes," Kuroko admitted. Aomine acted like Kuroko's sex didn't matter; he had even gone so far as to put it into words.

_\- "To me, you're just Tetsu. To me, you'll always be Tetsu. Balls or breasts, it doesn't matter. I think I was bound to fall for you, sooner or later, either way, either sex." -_

Simply remembering Aomine's words gave Kuroko the feeling of weightlessness. Aomine made him happy. Yet, being with him also brought forth familiar feelings that Kuroko wished he'd never have to suffer through again.

"Do you love him?" Kagami mentally kicked himself, _'Wh-whh-why da hell did I ask that?'_

"…" Kuroko's silence made each passing second feel like an hour. "Yes. I really do love Daiki-kun."

Beneath the covers, Kagami reflexively closed his fists. "But, you're still turning into a girl."

"Yes…" Kuroko curled up into a ball, making his already small frame even smaller.

_'__Shit! Way to say the wrong thing!'_ Kagami panicked. "Ah! Umm! You're just worried that he'll change if you stop turning into a girl right?" The redhead immediately smacked his forehead, dragging it down his face in quiet distress. _'Omg! Foot in mouth Kagami! Foot in mouth!'_ Kagami sat up. "You didn't need to hear that. Sorry, I'm- I'm a bit confused right now heheh… ehh…" Kagami's nervous laughter did little to alleviate the awkwardness, but Kuroko appreciated his effort nonetheless.

"It's okay." Kuroko shook his head gently into the pillow. "Perhaps you're right, maybe."

"Umm, yeah nah never mind…" Kagami massaged the back of his neck. "Let's just get some sleep." Kagami settled back down into his side of the bed.

"Goodnight Kagami-kun," Kuroko sounded distant. "Kagami-kun?"

"What is it?" Kagami cracked one eye open.

"Thank you…"

In the moments Kagami paused to think just what it was he was being thanked for, Kuroko had fallen asleep; his breathing shallow and steady. _'You're too trusting, idiot…'_

Yet, Kagami knew that it was one of the many good things about Kuroko. He thought about their meeting at Maji Burger. How he had completely missed Kuroko's presence that day. How Kuroko had somehow talked him into being tutored. How he had confessed to someone he barely knew before he could stop himself only to be rejected with the most bizarre of reasons. And afterwards, how he still managed to maintain an easy friendship with the most interesting person he'd ever met. Kuroko was literally one of a kind.

Outside, the blizzard showed no sign of calming down. The wind howled and the chill seeped into every corner of the small apartment. But Kagami's back burnt, _'Let's just get some sleep? Yeah right… There's no way I could fall asleep like this.'_

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 8 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

When Aomine woke up that morning, every unit square of his skin felt unnaturally warm and heavy; like he had just finished the final quarter. His right hand came up and brushed his bangs away from his brow. _'Huh? How the hell did we get a brown stain on the ceiling?'_

It took a while for Aomine to get his bearings, but when he finally did, the unmistakeable pressure of another human being on his torso became painfully apparent. And then there was that distinctive pink hair…

"Satsuki!?" Aomine sat up post-haste, unceremoniously knocking over the sound asleep Momoi in the process. "Wha?- What? Why the hell am I here?!" Aomine shook off the covers. "Oi Satsuki! Satsuki! Wake up!"

Momoi kept her eyes shut and grunted incoherently.

_'__Shit, this one's not a morning person at all,'_ Aomine thought. And just like that, the fragmented memories of the evening before came back to him. '_Crap, I've must've blacked out.'_ "Satsuki!" Aomine shook her shoulder briefly, miserably aware of how her form-fitting singlet placed every single line of her well-proportioned body on display_. 'Tch… Am I really in Japan? Why are there F-cups running all over the place?' _

Momoi Satsuki was, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most classically beautiful and fashionable women attending Teikou University. In fact, when it came to pure physical beauty alone, the only other person Aomine knew who could give her a run for her money wasn't some gravure model lining the pages of some famous magazine; it was Kuroko Tetsuya – on every other day.

"Mmm…" With considerable effort exerted, Momoi finally managed to force her roseate eyes open to the harried appearance of Aomine Daiki's face. "Dai-chan?" Momoi said in a curious tone.

"Again with that… Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that way?" Aomine exasperated.

Even though Aomine was willing himself not to redden at how helpless he became when Kuroko topped him 6 nights ago, Momoi completely flustered the moment she remembered what happened the last time she called him 'Dai-chan' yesterday.

"Satsuki?" Aomine asked, pausing to examine Momoi's sudden ruddiness.

"A-Ah nothing!" Momoi denied in a small panicky voice. It was hard for her to not be aware of how attractive Aomine was. Even when kneeling on one knee, his tall, masculine physique made her average size living room seem inexplicably cramped. "You look better. Geeze, what were you doing out in that weather being that sick?! Come here, has your fever gone down?" Momoi reached forward, meaning to brush the back of her hand on his forehead, but dithered halfway. She had expected Aomine to lean back, or at the very least bite out some sarcastic remark. Yet, to her surprise, Aomine leant forwards until his forehead came into contact with her hand.

"Yeah, I think it's gone," he verified in a casual tone.

"Umm, Yes…" Momoi's expression softened. She sounded almost disappointed, but recovered immediately upon seeing Aomine's raised brow. "I mean good! It's good that you've recovered. Athletes are amazing huh? You guys sure are hardy!" Momoi chirped with a controlled smile. _'I knew it. He doesn't remember what happened last night.'_

"Anyway, thanks for everything. I'll pay you back someday, but I should be going now." Aomine stood to his full height and Momoi followed suit.

"Wait!" Momoi implored. "You slept through a blizzard last night. It looks like it's cleared, but at least drink something warm before you head out. "

"A blizzard? Damn..." Aomine thought, _'How sick was I last night?'_

"I've got hot cocoa," Momoi offered.

"Thanks, but I-" Aomine's lips pressed together in a slight grimace. He had seen the familiar look on Momoi's face on many a girl, too many to have counted. _'Crap…'_

"Think of it as paying me back," Momoi asserted.

"Then… Thanks." What else could he have said?

"Sit wherever you want. I won't be long," Momoi said before disappearing off into the kitchen.

Aomine nodded, sat down, and took out his phone. He had one message.

[Kagami-kun knows. – Tetsuya]

"Fuck," Aomine cursed under his breath. "Satsuki, I gotta run," he said as he slipped into his sneakers.

"Ehh… but-"

"It's Tetsu," Aomine said; as if that was all Momoi needed to know; as if that alone was enough.

_'__Tetsu…'_ Momoi hated how she felt at that moment, but she swallowed the painful lump in her throat and did the one thing she thought would stop him from leaving. "We kissed last night!" Momoi exclaimed. "Y- You kissed me… Last night."

"W-Wh-What!?" Aomine took half a step back, eyes wide and gaze unfocused. "No. Why would I?"

"What do you mean 'why would you?'!" Momoi barked and stomped forward. _'Arghh… Unbelievable!'_

"Wait! Satsuki wait!" Aomine stretched out his arms against Momoi, but the petite woman was determined to give the tall man a beating, weak as it may be.

"You kept calling out Tetsu-kun's name last night," Momoi said as she repeatedly banged her fist against Aomine's chest. "Over and over, 'Tetsu, Tetsu, Tetsu'!"

"Satsuki…" Aomine took hold of her wrists, but he couldn't stop her outpour of emotion.

"You Ahomine!" Momoi screamed. "You asshole! Douchebag! Insensitive jerk!" She spoke through her teeth with forced restraint as the tears pooling in her eyes threatened to fall. "Don't make a girl fall for you if you're not even bloody straight!" Momoi seethed.

Aomine loosened his grasp, and Momoi's wrist slipped from his hands to hang at her sides. "Kuroko Tetsuya…" Momoi began, now sounding softer and controlled yet so much more broken. "You love him. Right?" It was a statement packaged as a question.

There was a brief pause; one conflicted expression; a single, long, drawn-out sigh.

"Yes, I'm in love with him."

Momoi had a feeling Aomine was going to say that. Still, hearing him spell it out word for word cut a wound deep into her heart. _'This is the worst. I've got such shitty luck when it comes to guys,'_ Momoi scoffed at herself. It had taken one piggyback ride for her to fall in love with him, and it had taken one sentence for her heart to be broken by him.

"Go…" Momoi sobbed.

"Satsuki," Aomine frowned. Why was it that he always seemed to make Momoi Satsuki cry?

"Leave!" Momoi cried, and pushed Aomine out the door.

"Hey!" Aomine said as he was roughly shoved out the door by a girl almost half his size, but by the time he managed to turn around, Momoi had already shut the door in front of his face.

"Satsuki. Satsuki!" Aomine slammed the palm of his hand against the door, knowing that Momoi was definitely still right next to it, knowing that she could feel the force of his action.

No reply came.

'_Damn it all to hell!'_ Aomine wanted to kick something. "Satsuki, I need to get to Tetsu right now, but I'll…" Aomine hesitated. _'What? I'll what? 'Come by later to check up on you? Call you tonight and talk this out? What the fuck am I supposed to do?'_

Aomine never thought he'd be in such a situation before, and with Momoi Satsuki of all people, a girl so apparently determined to hate his guts. All his previous flings were just that – flings. The girls he had 'dated' had known what he was like. They had known what they were getting into. No commitments, no promises – just a good time. If a girl had exhibited even the slightest symptom of possibly falling, he'd end the deal then and there and move on before any tears could be shed. Things were different with Kuroko too, because A) they'd known each other since before either of them could speak, and B) well, it had to be different. Kuroko Tetsuya was a guy, and he'd never been an overly emotional one at that. Kuroko was a completely different creature compared to Momoi, so different that Aomine was now at a loss of what to do.

_'__Anything I do's gonna make it worse.'_ But Aomine knew he couldn't afford to give her false hope.

"I'll…" Aomine sighed. "I'll see you around." He doubted his own words. "Bye."

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 1 hour earlier XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

You know that strange tingling sensation? The one where you wake up and try to climb out of bed, only to realise that the dead weight you're hauling around is your own dead arm? And then, as it revives, the sensation intensifies. Well, that was what Kagami Taiga woke up to that morning. That – and the startling sight of Kuroko Tetsuya's sleeping face on his right shoulder. Somehow, the two had turned in their sleep and were now facing each other, separated by mere centimetres of space.

"Aghhhh!" Kagami yawped and leapt away from Kuroko, causing the unsuspecting blunette to fall off the bed and crash in an inelegant heap of tangled sheets and tousled hair.

"Ouch…" Kuroko moaned, not exactly sure of what had just transpired.

"Shit! Sorry Kuroko my body just moved on its own," Kagami apologised, giving Kuroko a hand off the floor. _'Wow, that's some high-level bed hair,' _he thought, wondering if Kuroko would get angry if he mentioned how wild his hair was, sticking up all over in weird angles.

"It's alright Kagami-kun," said Kuroko as he got up, one hand nonchalantly rubbing his eyes. "Do you know the time?" Kuroko closed his eyes and yawned. It was a small, relaxed yawn that somehow reminded Kagami of a little bird. It was almost too cute to bear.

"It's a little over 8 am," Kagami scrolled through his phone. "The blizzard died out just before sunrise."

"I see. I've overslept," Kuroko said. '_Thank god it's Saturday.'_

"Were you supposed to be somewhere today?" Kagami asked.

"No, I wasn't. However, I should leave nonetheless. I've imposed on your kindness for far too long as it is. Thank you so much for putting me up last night." Kuroko made a deep bow.

The reply Kuroko got was little more than a grunt accompanied by a nod.

After a quick change and freshening up, Kuroko was all ready to step out the door. "Kagami-kun, do you still need tutoring?" Kuroko asked.

The uncertainty on Kagami's face was plain as day. Yet, Kuroko wasn't at all fazed. He understood all too well that last night's cordiality had simply been two awkward individuals forced into making the best of an unfortunate situation brought about by iffy weather. He knew the chance of their friendship surviving was all too slim. But more than anything, it was the guilt of the deception that weighed on Kuroko's conscience.

"…" Kagami's eyes fixated on the floorboards.

"Hesitation means no, right?" Kuroko smiled. The smile managed to reach his eyes, yet anyone could see that the reason behind that smile was anything but happiness. "Well, I guess this is goodbye."

"… Yeah, I guess so…" Kagami finally found his voice again.

"Farewell, Kagami-kun."

"Goodbye, Kuroko." And just like that, Kagami closed the door.

Yet, his hand still held onto the doorknob; harder than he'd ever held onto anything in his life.

* * *

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 2 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

* * *

Back at their flat, Kuroko Tetsuya had barely begun to take off his shoes before Aomine Daiki came rushing through the door. Not even a day had passed since the last time they saw each other, but both Kuroko and Aomine felt the tension in their tired bodies melt away the moment dark and light blue eyes came into view.

"Daiki-kun," Kuroko smiled, and Aomine knew immediately that something wasn't right.

Aomine didn't reply, opting for a more physical form of greeting instead. He hugged the smaller male before giving him a small kiss on the lips. "Kagami knows? You don't mean he knows about 'that' do you? What the hell happened Tetsu?" Aomine said in a single breath.

"He knows about everything," Kuroko admitted. "Last night… I got careless. I forgot about the time, and then with the blizzard…" There was a pained look on Kuroko's face. "I transformed right in front of him."

"Shit." Aomine's mouth was set in a firm line. Kuroko's voice was thicker than usual. His posture was feeble and his eyes the most vacant Aomine had ever seen. Aomine's chest tightened. _'I should've been there for him. He needed me. Yet, I was…' _Aomine stopped himself before he could complete the thought. _'One problem at a time.'_

"Kagami-kun… He didn't even get angry at me," Kuroko began. "He was deceived from the very beginning. He was even fooled into confessing oh God I feel awful." Kuroko pressed his forehead into Aomine's chest and shook it from side to side, his fingers digging into Aomine's clothes. "I never should've lied. This never should've gone on for as long as it did."

Aomine brought his hands up to cup Kuroko's face; a face displaying emotions that Aomine had rarely, if ever, seen on his childhood friend. "You were just protecting yourself. You hear me Tetsu? You needed to protect yourself. You did what was necessary to protect yourself. Just like your father did. Just like your uncle did. Just like grandma Kuroko and everyone else before her did."

"That doesn't excuse all the lies I've said-"

"It's not a fucking excuse!" Aomine swore. "You're a kind-hearted person Tetsu, almost to a fault. You're gentle and you're nice, but you seem to think that everyone else is too."

"Please don't patronise me."

"I'm not fucking around," Aomine stressed. "Not everyone is as accepting as you are. Some people are mean, judgemental, sometimes just plain cruel. And more often than not, these people are the ones who make the most bloody noise about everything! Could you really handle all of that? Could you live the way you've always had? Knowing that people are talking about you with their friends? Whispering criticisms about you as you walk by? Posting derogatory comments on forums dedicated to condemning you? Would you be able to ignore all the ridicule that the media will throw your way?"

Kuroko averted his gaze. His arms hung limply at his sides. Yet his hands were curled into tight fists. _'Could I?'_

"I know… I know you hate lying," Aomine tipped Kuroko's chin, urging the shorter male to look at him. "But, the fewer people who know about this the better." Aomine sighed and released Kuroko from his hold. "We don't even know if Kagami will be able to keep his mouth shut," Aomine continued as he paced around the living room.

"Kagami-kun won't say anything," Kuroko said in a level tone.

"Oh yeah? He said that did he?" Aomine asked irritably. He still couldn't bring himself to like Kagami.

"No, but we talked a lot last night. He won't tell anyone. I don't believe he will," Kuroko vouched.

"What do you mean 'we talked a lot last night'? Why didn't you come straight home?" Aomine's voice deepened.

"There was a blizzard last night Daiki-kun," Kuroko defended.

"Wait, so you spent the whole night at his place?! Un-fucking-believable…" Aomine scowled.

"And where were you last night?!" Kuroko gripped his own wrist in frustration. "I didn't come home last night, but you didn't even bother to call me."

"What did the two of you do?" Aomine clenched his jaw.

"Don't ignore me," Kuroko ordered.

"What did the two of you do?!" Aomine seethed.

Kuroko shirked. He had never been at the receiving end of Aomine's temper before. "Nothing…" Kuroko couldn't look at Aomine. "Nothing happened. We just slept on the same bed."

What Kuroko proceeded to hear coming from Aomine could only be described as 'ugly laughter'.

"Well isn't that just the most wonderful coincidence?" Aomine sneered. "You waking up with that loser. Me waking up with Satsuki."

"You were with Momoi-san last night?" Kuroko's eyes widened, refusing to believe Aomine would hurt him in such a painful way. _'No, no, no way.'_

"And to think I almost felt guilty about it," Aomine scoffed wryly.

"How could you?" Kuroko choked out the words, biting into his lower lip to stop the trembling of his quivering chin. _'Even if everyone else in the world turned against me, I had always believed that you'd always have my back.'_

"Tetsu…?" Aomine couldn't believe what he'd just said. He approached Kuroko, his hand reaching for him but Kuroko retreated straightaway, "No…"

"Tetsu I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said. I was just-"

"No, Aomine-kun." Kuroko protested. "No." It was a wonder how Kuroko was keeping his tears at bay. "Please leave me alone for a while." And with that, Kuroko called forth a dignity he didn't know he still possessed and walked off into his room with his head held high.

When he was safely inside the comfort of his own room, Kuroko slumped against the door, raised his hand above his head and locked the door. _'Funny… I can't even remember the last time I had to lock this door.'_

"I mustn't cry. I mustn't cry…" Kuroko whispered to himself.

_'__If Aomine-kun hears me, I'll lose whatever pride I have left.'_


End file.
